Emergency Debate To Evict Freedom Rally Convoy from Ottawa has Liberals Seeing Red

By Toby Gelman

An evening of digging in heels and changing shoes mid-dance was on full display late into the night in Ottawa, as MPs jostled for the dominant position in a mud-wrestling, virtue signalling grudge match, say political hill absurdity observers. 

“The Liberals spent much of the debate repeating tired phrases about the importance of vaccination and condemning the ‘acts of hate’ by two possibly paid Trudeau disruptors with offensive flags,” says one well-known university of economics professor who spoke to All Hitz AM anonymously for fear of government reprisal.

Oscillating between the Orwellian view points of ‘Three vaccines good and zero vaccines bad’ and privileged outrage about missing sleep from ‘the Honk, Honk Movement’ the Liberals managed to stake out the nuanced, calming messaging they have been so well-known for the past two years … ‘PANIC!’ 

Dramatically pausing and starting, pausing and starting, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said “It has to stop.” Seemingly oblivious to that being the very demand of the protestors after 2 years of over-the-top government overreach. 

Citing trumped up protestors actions such as raiding soup kitchens, desecrating Terry Fox—a well-known Canadian who also crossed the country for a good cause—and intimidating Rexall cashiers with unmasked 30-second encounters; filled much, if not all, of the hours long self-inflicted-wound-all-party-blame game.

“The clear winner tonight was the truckers,” says our insider. “Ottawa needs to clean up its own house that they call the government, before they can even begin cleaning up the streets of Ottawa.”

That said, the streets of Ottawa have never been cleaner, as the truckers have made it their own mandate to sweep, collect garbage, shovel snow, feed the homeless and polish statues like Terry Fox every day that they legally protest in the nation’s capital. 

For the Canadian truckers they will survive to fight another day.

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