Woke Gay Superman Sales Floppy

Super Low Sales for New Superman Comic

By Clammy J Byner, Bullpen Editor 

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s … falling off the sales charts! According to comic book sales tracker ComiChron, the once star title of the DC Comics Universe, Superman, been dumped up up and away in the quarter bin at your friendly neighbourhood comic book shop. 

TRUTH, JUSTICE AND THE OH SO FASHIONABLE WAY 

It’s true! The new woke, gay, environmentalist, agenda driven Superman series, Superman: Son of Kal-El, has only found Kryptonite at the newspaper stands.

This, despite the series writer Tom Taylor’s claims to the contrary. Taylor took to Twitter in January trying to downplay sales data that showed sales of Superman: Son of Kal-El were in the dumpster.

On Twitter, Taylor wrote, “Wow. Stick around for the end of this. It’s worth it. Today, I woke up to piles of strangers in my mentions attacking the sales of Superman: Son of Kal-El issue #6 and celebrating the failure of our comic. Issue #5, where Jon Kent comes out as bisexual, made the Top 10 in comic sales for November!”

SON OF A SUPERMAN! Jon Kent (son of Clark and Lois Kent) is the new woke, sensitive, gay Superman in DC Comics dismal selling Superman: Son of Kal-El

BI IT OR NOT, ASKS TV’S SUPERMAN

Former leading man in tights, actor Dean Cain, who played the ‘boy in blue’ in Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, doesn’t need X-Ray vision to see through this obvious sales gimmick.

RAISING CANE: Actor Dean Cain played Superman in the 90s TV series Lois and Clark, The New Adventures of Superman. He says this new material is anything but ‘Super’

“They said it’s bold and a bold new direction. I say they are bandwagoning. Robin of Batman and Robin, just came out as bi or gay recently. Honestly, who is really shocked about that one?” 

Cain continued that he has no problem with Superman being gay but changing a character around just for the sake of it makes no sense creatively. And it’s a troubling trend for the once mighty American superhero genre. 

“The new Captain America is gay. My daughter in Supergirl, where I played the father, she was gay. So, I don’t think it’s bold or brave, or some crazy new direction. If they had done this 20 years ago perhaps that would have been bold and brave. But brave would have him be fighting for the rights of gay people in Iran, where they will throw you off a building for the offense of being gay.”

LET LEX LUTHOR DEAL WITH THE UNIONS: Old school man of steel, Dean Cain would like to see Superman take on real injustice rather than hold a picket sign.

A REAL MAN OF STEEL 

“There is real evil in this world, today. Real corruption in government overreach. Plenty of things to fight against. Human trafficking. Real actual slavery going on. It would be brave to shine a light on those issues. I’d like to see the character doing that. I’d read that comic.

“This one? I don’t think I’ll be reading. I could just watch CNN or MSNBC to get this story.” 

CAN I HOLD YOUR CAPE FOR YOU, MA’AM?: Terri Hatcher (included for … hotness reasons) played Superman’s Girlfriend in Lois and Clark in the 90s. At that time, this photo was the the most downloaded image on the Internet. Ask your dad about it.

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