Transphobia the Woke Word of the Hour 

But Toby likes his meat juicy, fresh, and au naturel

I’m more riled up than a stray dog in a Chinese restaurant over the newest woke word of the hour: Transphobia!

A few days ago my youngest daughter Sadie was showing me a video on the Chinese government-run propaganda site TikTok—I try to teach my children to avoid anything Chinese, except egg rolls—when a video popped up of some wacko transplaining to me that I’m transphobic!

The video, which you can view here, is of a man who identifies as “non-binary” saying that if you refuse to bed someone who had sexual reassignment surgery then you’re transphobic.

I asked Sadie to rewind the video to which she laughed and played it again. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This freakshow was telling me that if I turned down their so-called medically created lady parts then I was some sort of bigot.

Now, I’ve been married to my lovely wife Greta for 30 years, and never stepped out on her, but I couldn’t believe the nerve of this clown saying that I have no choice, but to be intimate with those sliced and diced genitals! I told Sadie that these guys, I mean girls, I mean non-binary, are worse than the East German Stasi

IS THAT A BANANA IN YOUR POCKET: Social Media transplainers, like the above, have taken over TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram as the new pandemic or, as some prefer, a sneaky, sneaky virus.


It reminded me of the other day when I stopped for a bite at my local A&W and the nose ringed, neck tattooed server offered me a Beyond Meat Sausage. I’d never heard of it, but the friendly server who, according to their name badge went by the pronouns She/Her, explained that the sausage tasted like meat, looked like meat, but wasn’t actually meat.

I said, it sounded okay, but I’ll stick with a regular all-American style beef burger because that’s what I know I like. And just because I could eat a Beyond Meat Sausage doesn’t mean I have to eat one, and just because I don’t doesn’t mean that I’m against vegetarians or vegans or electric cars (they suck, actually). 

The Woke have moved so far into crazyville that if you disagree with any outlandish statement they make, even on TikTok, you’re immediately branded a racist, bigot and now transphobic. In fact, I noticed that even our government, headed by Dictator Trudeau, is calling for a law that would punish anyone who demonstrated anti-woke and/or hurtful messaging online. 

Speaking of meat, more recently, turncoat MP Jagmeet Singh cried to legacy media about being harassed online by his voters after he sold the NDP to the Liberals. But I’d bet my last A&W onion ring that neither Jagmeet nor his bedfellow Justin would consider the vitriol that came out of this TikToker’s pie hole hate messaging. 


I told Sadie that perhaps I was transphobic, if, of course, what this clown stated on TikTok did in fact warrant the derogatory term. Then I told my daughter to never let anyone tell you what to do. I said, if you want to eat a juicy burger then eat a burger, and if you want to eat a Beyond Meat Sausage then by all means her mom and I will be okay with that. But never do it because some bozo-the-clown transplainer on TikTok, school teacher, or even a woke parent tells you what to put in your mouth. 

And that’s all the woke nonsense that I can swallow this week!

Toby Gelman
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Producer of Woke Up! podcast, father of six, husband to Greta, and author of Johnny Jock PI Moon Rock Opera.

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