Desperate Canadians Forced to Eat the Bugs

New Government regulations steer middle class away from beef

For Vanessa Adams of Kelowna, BC, the idea of eating bugs was most definitely off the table. “Disgusting,” says the single mother. “I would pretty much freak out if I saw a spider.” 

But as inflation rates buzz out of control, with food and gas prices hitting unaffordable levels, and the Trudeau government doing little to stop it, “bug grub” may soon be the only way people like Adams can afford to put food on the table. 

“It sounds crazy,” adds the Queen Bee of three, “but we started cooking with bugs a few weeks ago. It tastes awful, but it may be the only way we can eat soon. I found a bit online about it, including the New York Times: The Joy of Cooking Insects.”

JUST ANOTHER MOUTHFUL OF MILLIPEDES: Loving moms like Vanessa Adams want her children to eat well. But on a tight budget and with soaring food prices moms like her across the nation are calling for caterpillars, jumping on grasshoppers and can’t get enough ant.

While bugs have been eaten around the world for centuries, this is more about making money than saving mother earth, chirps our Woke Up! global-health insider, who spoke on the condition of anonymity for fear of being swarmed by Big Bug lobbyists.

“The recent push for bug grub comes from the regulatory body Health Canada, which plans to add warning labels to deter consumers from purchasing it. They’re going to give beef the same stigma as cigarettes,” says our red-blooded insider. 

But not everyone is flying with this proposed change.

“What’s the beef with my beef?” tweeted Canadian Cattlemen’s Association in response to the proposal. “Health Canada wants to put a warning label on ground beef, a nutrient-dense protein Canadian families rely on to stay healthy.”

WHAT’S BUGGING THEM?

International policy experts have been drawing the connection between this recent move by Health Canada and other shadowy groups. According to the World Economic Forum (WEF) and the World Health Organization (WHO) websites: The goals are to reduce the social and environmental costs of animal consumption by humans.

The non-governmental organizations argue that the production of meat is inequitable for developing nations and increases global warming due to methane in cow farts, which in turn depletes the ozone layer.  

“These unelected hogs are attempting to slaughter food consumption from what they consider unsustainable food sources,” our insider spills. “Beef proves the economic and practical protein that humans need to maintain their health. What possible health side effects could there be to eating insects? What diseases could they infect humans with? What happens to the farmers, grocers and butchers that rely on the meat industry for their livelihoods?” 

JIMINY CRICKET! BUG PROCESSING PLANTS?

In London, Ontario, Canada, Aspire Food Group recently completed construction of a new plant that will produce 9000 metric tons of crickets for human and pet consumption. The company claims it to be the world’s largest cricket production facility.

In fact, king of the cockroaches, bug-eyed Bill Gates, who is never far away from a “global crisis,” is positioned to profit big time on the beef ban. The high school dropout, who has an MD in Tweets, is the largest single owner of farmland in the US, and an early investor in the artificial food market. 

BILLS GATES KEEPER: There is a fortune to be made in the growing bug and artificial beef market. Luckily Bill Gates is here to make a few bucks off humanity like he did with computer anti-virus software (for his computers) and vaccines for the common cold (that don’t work).

According to Business Insider Magazine, the market for artificial meat alone is estimated to be $8 billion by 2030. The timeline ties in perfectly with the WEF’s goal of controlling food production through centralized means. 

“It’s not a conspiracy,” says our insider. “One only has to look at the WEF’s own video promoting the golden new age of humanity under its rule. Among other frightening predictions the video states: ‘You’ll eat much less meat, an occasional treat, not a staple, for the good of the environment and our health’.”

Although the video was removed after public outcry, Woke Up!, as always, is able to provide it here for our loyal readers. 

Adams, however, says that the growing costs of trying to support her family makes it almost impossible to avoid eating bugs. “Maybe, it’s Trudeau,” she says. “I voted for him in the past, but life is becoming so difficult under his regime. I regret supporting him.”

TEARS OF A CLOWN: Justin Trudeau would really, really, really, like for you to eat the bugs. And if you don’t… you’ll make him cry. (Yes, we know, how would you tell it was you? He’s always crying.)

BUGS OFF!

Not everyone is drinking the bug Kool-Aid, though. Some politicians such as Canadian Conservative Leadership candidate MP Pierre Poilievre have swatted the idea of replacing beef with creepy crawly insects. 

Health Canada plans to put a warning label on beef - no bugs about it! Or are there?
GIVING THE FINGER: Although Health Canada claims ground beef contains high amounts of sugar, sodium, and saturated fat, not everyone has bought the cow they’re selling. While bugs contain some protein they are are untested for global human consumption. Pierre Poilievre has come out against the move to start slapping warning labels on beef.

“Another day, another example of government gatekeepers needlessly throwing roadblocks in front of those who raise, produce and grow the nutritious food we eat,” tweeted Poilievre.

“Fire the gatekeepers, and support our ranchers that provide a key part of a healthy diet.”

The proposal to label beef has left Canada’s cattle farmers and ranchers concerned and angry. Their association is asking Canadians to join its campaign against Health Canada’s use of warning labels on beef by going to https://www.dontlabelmybeef.ca/ 

Casey Riley
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Independent/Citizen/Woman Reporter. My pronouns are None of Your Beeswax.

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