Hollywood Heels Ruining Movies 

How many times can the studios remake Rambo 3 with a BIPOC Female Lead?

By Terrance Letts
Special to Woke Up!

Ah…the film classics….the champions of cinematic brilliance. It’s the way that these celluloid stories inspire the world by projecting a heroic tale. One that fires the soul and ignites the human spirit. Like the movie magic captured in The Next Karate Kid, Ocean’s Eight, Ghostbusters 2016, and American Psycho II: All American Girl.

Remember all of those times when you left a theatre and said “What a great movie, what exceptional and thought-provoking entertainment but…you know something?… I can’t help thinking that it would be so much better if the male lead character was a woman?” said no one ever.

It’s up there with “Hey, who wants to eat Canadian tonight?”

WHO PICKED UP THE CALL?: The disastrous Ghostbusters 2016 film scared away audiences.

But in keeping with the new business model of “let’s give the public what they don’t want” gender swapping the leading role in a big budget Hollywood blockbuster is the big thing. After all, look at all the flops they achieved by flipping. Seems wise to build on a proven record of failure right? Makes 110% non-sense.

For many years Hollywood has been criticized for churning out endless remakes. But now they are mixing the test tubes of creative genius in social justice chemistry tubes that will blow your male privileged, entitled face off.

The glass ceiling has been smashed and it’s brave and stunning until the razor-sharp shards fall down and cut your male privileged, entitled balls off too….c’mon…they wanted them all along,

But the people making the movie seem to parrot the same stuff. Weird eh?

Studio Executive 1: You know people are criticizing us for always doing remakes.

Studio Executive 2: Good point.

Studio Executive 1: Let’s brainstorm.

Studio Executive 2: Lunch first?

Studio Executive 1: You read my mind!

3 hours later …

Studio Executive 1: Got it!…how about endless remakes but with gender swapped roles?

Studio Executive 2: Bingo! What a great idea…the research on this has always shown that it’s a consistent money earner which upholds and respects the IP and unites the fan base while gaining critical acclaim from fair minded critics.

Studio Executive 1: Yes, I’ve seen that research. It’s very accurate.

Studio Executive 2: Brilliant…just get a female director.

Studio Executive 1: And a beautiful and vaguely ethnic female star.

Studio Executive 2: Yes, but not too beautiful or too ethnic, there’s the Lesbian and Chinese market to think about.

Studio Executive 1: Naturally. Can a poet of colour executive produce?

Studio Executive 2: Of course, and get a female writer…

Studio Executive 1:  Naturally. Will an on-line influencer work?

Studio Executive 2: Did Epstein kill himself?

Studio Executive 1: Uhhhhhhh?

Studio Executive 2: Right, right, who cares !

Studio Executive 1: How about a Canon and Continuity expert? 

Studio Executive 2 Nah.


….. End scene.

So… why? These movie products don’t seem to respond to an audience need?

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