Quidditch Cancelled Over JK Rowling’s ‘Transphobic’ Comments

Real life version of make-believe game goes ‘poof!’

The organizers of a real life version of the game Quidditch, inspired by JK Rowling’s hit series of books Harry Potter, are changing the sports name in an effort to distance the game from the author, whom they have incorrectly and rather ungratefully labeled, ‘transphobic’.

And that’s just fine to 11-year-old Harry Potter reader Flavia Majares.

“I think it’s so ridiculous. Who cares? I mean, it’s all made up words. Like all the dumb stuff about boys being girls that they’re so upset about,” the avid reader and self-described ‘Muggle’ told Woke Up!

Major League Quidditch and U.S. Quidditch, the two organizations that represent teams in more than a dozen countries, are transitioning (pun intended) from the name as Rowling continues to wage an ongoing battle with transgender ideology. The author’s war on woke began in 2019 when she tweeted her support for Maya Forstater, a tax specialist who’d lost her job for what were deemed ‘transphobic’ tweets

PLAYING DRESS UP: The leagues may simply be dressing a financial decision up in virtue to claim the moral high ground, which is hard to argue while erasing the woman who created their whole world because they disagree with some words she said.

Rowling’s TERFED by Woke Nerds

In an essay, which you can read here, Rowling further explores her problems with gender identity ideology and the ‘cancel culture’ mentality that follows anyone who questions pronouns, men giving birth, and even the question of what is a woman. 

For 33 year old Pat “Huffelpuff’ Henderson, Quidditch has been a part of their sad life since middle school. “I met all my friends through the game including my life partner Sam,” says “Pat” who goes by the pronouns X/Y/Z and insists that gender is a social construct. “As a “professional” Quadball player, I’m embarrassed to be seen on the field because of what the children’s author said about grown men who dress up as women.” Pat pauses to wipe a tear from their running mascara. “Rowling has ruined the game… and my life.” 

A HARRY SITUATION: Sex based rights advocate, Amy Ham, a recent guest on Woke Up! protested radical gender ideology in front of a billboard in Vancouver which displayed support for the children’s author who is being attacked by grown men who dress up as women. Ham is currently being unfairly investigated by the BC Collage of Nurses for her comments that biological sex being a real thing.

Quidditch was adapted by Xander Manshel and Alex Benepe at Middlebury College in Vermont in 2005, but they never expected it to catch on with such a depressing cast of players.The real-life version of it is close to the fictional version, minus the flying brooms. There is ‘riding’ of brooms, throwing balls through hoops, dodging bludgers, and a Golden Snitch. 

“What did they adapt?” asks Majares. “They just stole the whole idea and people are suppose to accept them as real? Are they crazy or do they think we are?”

The leagues had been given tasit, if not explicit permission to exist by Rowling and film studio Warner Brothers. Neither party profited from their intellectual and legal property. 

“It sounds like they were just pretending to be something they’re not to get attention,” says the wise beyond her years Majares. 

In an official statement the league acknowledged the change was to distance itself from Rowling, “who has increasingly come under scrutiny for her anti-trans positions in recent years.” Oh, and the name “quidditch” is trademarked by Warner Bros., which produced the official films, which “limits the league’s marketing and sponsorship opportunities.”

“Sounds like this is all about money to me,” smiles Majares.

#LGBTQUIDDICH: Self-obsessed millennials who never grew up and drift from outrage to outrage play the ridiculous game of the rebranded ‘Quadball’, dragging their sticks in between their legs the whole time.

“Quidditch is our dead name,” says player

Rowling came under scrutiny after comments on social media that included statements that the trans movement was “pushing to erode the legal definition of sex and replace it with gender.” Her words, which were written in defence of women’s safety in the name of freedom of speech caused advocates for transgender rights to call her transphobic. This began the ongoing but largely unsuccessful attempt to cancel the best selling and critically acclaimed author. 

“I don’t think JK Rowling hates or has a phobia of anybody. I did a project on her. Did you know she was a poor single mom who worked hard to get Harry Potter published and now she donates a lot of her money and time to women’s and girls’ charities and freedom of speech, for like, everyone.” 

“Without JK Rowling, Quidditch doesn’t even exist, so they can change the name if they want but the jokes on them cause then no one will care about their pretend sport.”

But Pat and other members of the league disagree. “We consider Quidditch our dead name.” 

According to the two leagues, the few fans they have are struggling to reconcile their love of Harry Potter with their objections to her ‘controversial’ views. 

But not Majares.

“So she doesn’t think exactly the same as some of her readers. So what? No one has to agree with everything an author says or thinks. That’s the magic of reading – you can read what the author says but you get to make up your own mind.”

AD Washbro
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Senior reporter for Woke Up!

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