The Most Woke Up! Halloween Movies

Films that the Woke love to hate

By Terrance Letts

Well…….it’s almost All Hallows Eve and as we all know… considering the ongoing trauma show that is present day planet Earth, Halloween is now… the least scary time of the year. Who needs Freddy poking you with his needle-sharp fingers when you can have Fauci and… well… just his needles.

The streets are full of mobs of costumed, hysterical freaks, with funny coloured hair, forming witch hunts as they scream into the night. But enough about TikTok. So….quick, before they get cancelled, let’s Get Woke Up! to some classically ‘woke’ horror flicks and why they are relevant in a world on the verge of nuclear war, race riots and mass starvation—where people are frightened of words.

They Live

No…this isn’t the cry of the pro-life crew (it would be great though) rather, this is the cult John Carpenter movie from the 1980s that accurately sums up our present-day world. A pro-wrestler turned actor puts on cool retro sunglasses and sees the world as it really is… A weird hell hole ruled by an inhuman force that brainwashes everyone. CNN? No. This is the best documentary that you have never seen… unless you put on 1982 era Ray Bans and are possibly a retired pro-wrestler.

Halloween 

Now the Woke loons hate this movie…

A man wears a mask (to protect others), he sort of wears a socialist, gender-free type jumpsuit, he walks around with a kitchen knife (so he’s a good cook and not a member of the patriarchy) and he kills men and women alike; so he’s very into equality of outcome. However, all of this takes place in America which as we all know, is racist, so, the they/thems hate it. 

Friday the 13th

Which is odd because they/them love this movie….

A man wears a mask, he wears a jumpsuit, he walks around with a kitchen knife, and he kills mostly women. Oh….and he’s gay….so they love it. Until they/them find out he’s not trans.  

The Purge

This is an odd one because it appeals to everyone. Yes, everyone. The Right, the Left and the people in the middle who don’t buy into the false dichotomy of Right and Left. Half the world is terrified that the other half is going to go hysterical, form a bloodthirsty mob and come for them, social media pitchforks in hand. Finally…a movie that unites us all. It’s almost as though someone built a world designed on this movie eh?

Let’s face it….it’s difficult to write about scary movies in a world that’s so mind numbingly terrifying in the first place. Happy Halloween!…..unless it gets cancelled.

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Producer of Woke Up! & Pitch This! podcasts

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