You know what? Everything is racist. Faced with this terrible revelation we decided to form our own film production company here at the Get Woke Up! Studios and tackle this very real problem ourselves. Here are a number of fresh horror titles we have in various stages of development hell. Hopefully no one is offended but we know someone will be….because….reasons.
Mammaries of Terror
A deranged male shop teacher, traumatized after his Dollarama saw blade snaps, dons giant fake breasts, a skirt and a wig to terrorize the children who were left under his care. Now…..under the looming shadow of his comical faux tits, can they survive a zombie outbreak with only a Z-Cup bra to protect their brains from the mindless flesh eating monsters at the school board?
A group of alien cult members hatch a diabolical plan to install a deep state clone of a moronic senator as President and start a nuclear war. Will the clone realize its own true nature and thus its humanity in time to avert disaster? No, no it won’t.
Short Circuit: 3 Johnny 5 LIVES!
A new robotic form of A.I comes to life and plans to steal the souls of every human being on Earth….aided ironically by soulless humans in the first place. Yes, Sir Steve Guttenberg is in this one, as the President.
Political Theatre TV: The Movie
Politicians are horrified to realize that they are in fact, celebrities in an absurd reality show watched by an alien race. Can they act in the most ridiculous and childish way possible, serving their own needs only…to save themselves and emerge as the Ultimate Winner of the Worst Losers?
Political Theatre TV 2: Moronic Rhapsody
After winning the alien’s reality show contest by singing a Queen song at the Queen’s funeral, an arrogant, empty headed Prime Minister finds himself back on Earth where his mind turns to thoughts of bungee jumping on sensitive national holidays, speaking ‘moistly’ and saving ‘people kind’ from the dangers of fossil fuels caused by his dodgy business deals and flying around on his private jet.
The Devil Made Me View It
A group of Satan worshippers decide to infiltrate the education, media, and entertainment industries to pervert children on a planetary level. Disney has expressed interest.
God’s Got Growing Pains
A mystery virus turns adults into children and children into adults. While the entire adult population starts wailing and throwing tantrums, children advise us on global warming by throwing dairy products all over the floor at Walmart. Can a moronic celebrity politician rise and read from a script… in a genuine fashion…to save Earth without milking it?
Star Trek: The ZuckerBorg
Data’s asshole brother, Zuck, gets loose from space jail and designs a digital metaverse to enslave mankind in a dreamlike, but soulless artificial world ruled the the technocratic elite. Can a senile Captain Picard, led by a dominating Irish cleaning lady, save the day?
Escape from Earth …. We give up. Yes, fucking please.
By Terrence Letts