Talk about a lot of baggage!
A shaken passenger on board a flight from Montreal to Fredericton last week is telling the GWUniverse that Chief Cindy Woodhouse was an unruly passenger who put everyone’s life in danger by insisting on bringing oversized baggage on the 90-minute flight!
“In 99% of the world her actions would be considered Air Rage,” fumes the passenger who sat a few rows behind Woodhouse on the Dash 8. “But only in Canada could Chief WigWam hold up a flight and demand a change of policy. There’s a reason for the limit on overhead baggage. I don’t know what it is, but I’m not willing to die for DEI!”
The incident, which has resulted in international mockery, and, of course, sympathetic comments from Canada’s long-ruling Dictator Justin Trudeau, occurred when Woodhouse was politely requested by Air Canada flight attendants to store her traditional indigenous headdress in cargo.
Woodhouse, who begrudgingly parted with the case (but not the headdress itself—ed), later voiced her rage at the request on social media platform Facebook and followed up by saying that she would never comply with the safety protocol again.
“I won’t be letting anyone take away my headdress or case again,” berated the National Chief of the Assembly of First Nations. “Last night I had hurt feelings and today I still don’t feel happy at Air Canada for what happened yesterday.”
“If I get kicked off the flight today, then I will because I won’t be letting them take my headdress or case away from me again. Thank you to the kind Canadians on the plane who stuck up for me and tried to help.”
Indigenous Ways of Knowing The Power of The Death Star
However, our first class insider, and second class citizen, truths that not all were hailing to the Chief! “The people in my row all agreed that fair is fair. Of course no one could say that because of all those supposed baby graves.”
He goes on to lament, “Look, my oversized luggage was in cargo. Inside was my rare collectable Death Star, which is 1/4500 the size. Can I argue that I was on a religious pilgrimage to a May the 4th convention and needed to hug it?”
The self admitted ardent Star Wars fan says it’s not easy to be a fan of the woke film series. “Where’s my special rules? I believe in a made up pseudo religion too!”
The rebel hero adds there should be no exceptions when it comes to air safety. “The Air Canada staff were very accommodating by putting the headdress in a plastic bag,” explains the frequent X-Wing flier. “Not a garbage bag; although maybe that’s where it belongs …. along with the sequel trilogy.”
Literally DIE!
Freedom fighter Jim McMurtry, who was canceled from his teaching job for telling the truth about residential schools, voiced his concern on X. “Maximum size for a carry-on bag on a Dash 8 plane is 16 in. x 6 in. x 13 in. All those who say Canadians must learn from the incident with Chief Woodhouse, including Trudeau, should remember the “sacred” duty of airline staff to keep passengers safe.”
Woodhouse, who clearly doesn’t care about equality or people’s safety, believes the entire policy needs to change to accommodate her outrageous cultural demands. “Air Canada needs a protocol for First Peoples so that we are not harassed for our sacred items. Our headdresses don’t belong in garbage bags.”
Sacred Cabin Pressure
Like most Canadian corporations, Air Canada has found themselves pressured into performing land acknowledgements, as well as other performative measures to keep the lazy left happy.
“What land? It’s a joke,” laughs our passenger. “We’re literally flying 30,000 feet above the ground!!!”
But now Chief WigWam is demanding to meet with Air Canada’s president and has called on him for solutions, including having a mandatory First Nations member on the Board of Directors, a protocol for First Nations peoples and their sacred items, and cultural training for Air Canada staff, including a meeting with elders. The air line has offered the indigenous leader a peace offering of 15 percent off her next flight which in ancestral dollars amounts to some shiny glass beads.
“Honestly, I won’t fly again. Especially if my safety is compromised for some, so-called, sacred symbol. Talk about may the farce be with you.”
