Picture it: October 7, 1988, the day before the season four premiere of NBC’s chart topping comedy, The Golden Girls. I was a ghost writer for the hit series, mostly conjuring up stories about Rose in St. Olaf. Since I wasn’t on staff (you can check IMDB—ed) they put me in the studio basement where I sat between Sophia’s “Picture it Sicily” and Blanche’s “Big Daddy” writers. It was a funny, zany, and popular show, but, honestly, the three of us would have done anything to get out of that dark, dank, catch-phrase dungeon. For years we felt like prisoners to those Miami spinsters. 

That’s why, 35 years later, when I saw footage of Palestinians fighting for their freedom from the Gaza Strip, it immediately brought me back to my own segregation in the Golden Girls recording studio. After X-ing my support for the apartheid freedom fighters, however, I was immediately shamed for bolstering “terrorists” and not the good guys. “Israel is the good guy”, I pondered? 

Still confused, like many this week, I turned to my television set for answers. 

Keep Your Facts, I’m Going With The Truth

I first looked toward late-night host Stephen Colbert. He said that based on what happened over the weekend it was no time for jokes (uh, so nothing new then—ed). It was clear that Colbert, and the other late night hosts, including Kimmel, Fallon, Meyers and even those other guys they are firing were all reading from the same script: Stand with Israel. It seemed convincing, especially since the always impartial MSM was showing Palestinians wildly celebrating in the streets, which they compared to the fake news celebrations that occurred after 9-11. 

Then I recalled a series of skits and jokes Colbert made about people like me who questioned the vaccine and COVID pandemic measures; how Colbert became a vaccine shill and acted like a doctor for two years, shaming anyone who didn’t dance along with his vaxscene pantomime. 

Keeping Up with the Current Thing

Over on the reality TV channel, I noticed Kylie Jenner had also echoed her support for Israel, but the ‘influencer’ had to retract her statement after losing 1 million followers on social media. Her fans pointed out that Israel was an oppressive state that had actually jailed the Palestinians and stolen their country, and that prior to the Hamas counter offensive on the weekend the Israeli government had been bombing Gaza for months, killing hundreds.

Unfortunately, since all the Golden Girls had moved on to that big lanai in the sky I’ll never know what their stance on the Middle East was.

Pillar of Virtue Is a Turn On

Confused and feeling like a jerk off, I zipped over to the Playboy channel to see if my new favorite Middle Eastern adult entertainment star Mia Khalifa had revealed the naked truth on the issue. To my surprise she went triple X commando.

Playboy Inc. wasn’t warm to her bare facts on the issue and stripped her from the platform, stating: “At Playboy, we encourage free expression and constructive political debate” … unless, of course, it doesn’t align with ours. 

It seemed that everyone—despite being told how complicated the issue between Israel and Palestine was—had no choice but to support Israel to keep a good standing in society.  

Where Have I Seen This Before?

Back on X, I found others who pointed out that like Ukraine this is all a grift to shake more cash out of our already empty wallets. Others pointed out that the weapons being used on both sides are mostly American made. Even more X users argued it’s another WEF and MSM psyop to normalize segregation so that we too will accept our eventual imprisonment in technocratic 15 minute city slave states. 

In the basement of the Golden Girls we dreamed about moving upstairs, having the same snacks, perks, and pay cheque as everyone else. We did everything we could to move up on the show, even writing Dorothy’s ex, Stan, into the season, but we just never broke through. The others quit, but I stayed on until Rose Nyland had milked every last St. Olaf joke out of me … and I’m certain that the families in the Gaza Strip are thinking the exact same thing today.