When business was slumping for a hip advertising agency in Detroit, they knew it was time to adopt a new strategy. 

“We would pitch campaigns to clients, but just weren’t landing contracts,” explains Creative Director Bruno Fantino over Microsoft Teams to GWU! “It was always the same story, we love your stuff, but you’re just too …. white.”

Since the fentanyl drug overdose of criminal George Floyd on a Minneapolis street corner in 2020, more and more boardrooms across America are converting to the new DEI religion. A religion that has white-owned businesses like Bruno’s being choked out of jobs for not taking the knee.

“It’s no lie that pre-Floyd a business like mine was the go-to for corporate America. We’re cool. We have casual Thursdays and some of our staff is gay. But times have changed,” laments Fantino.

From The Gravy Train to The Underground Railroad

That’s when Bruno had an idea to add more diversity to his already colorful portfolio. 

“I didn’t have the resources to hire someone—it’s a small shop—and, honestly, there aren’t a lot of Black or Latin folks working in advertising.”

So he decided to rent one! 

“I invited a Black lady who works at my local coffee shop to a pitch meeting with me. She just sat next to me—didn’t say anything—and an hour later I got the contract.”

Since that day, Bruno has a rainbow roster of BIPOCS including Asians, Indians, Indian Indians and more who he affectionately calls his DEI Pets. 

And these diversity companions are helping Fantino land some of the most lucrative contracts in America: Virgin 5G, Pfzier, Blackrock, mainstream media outlets, and even a munitions factory in Israel, to name a few. His company of five has quickly grown to more than fifty! And he couldn’t be happier that 45 of those just stand around looking diverse – often nodding with blank stares behind world leaders.

Once You Go Blackrock, You Never Go Back

Laverne, who identifies as a DEI Pet, tells GWU! that at first she thought it was racist. However, after seeing the benefits, including bonuses if they land a contract, she says she’s very happy with the work. “I’m an actor so it’s really no different. It’s easier because I really have no lines. I just have to nod and smile and give the odd old white CEO a death stare during a pitch.”

Although some critics are comparing DEI Pets to the slave trade of the 1800s, Laverne says that couldn’t be further from the truth. “It may be a bit deceptive, but I’m not being imprisoned against my will. I actually would prefer this role to say playing a typecast Black Orphan Annie for a woke Disney production.”

Bruno concurs, “These corporations have a fictional mandate to appease some woke scorecard. I mean when I go to the pitches it’s all white people making six-figure salaries talking about ending racism and white supremacy. It’s actually comical,” he laughs over Microsoft Teams. “Like a good ad agency I’m just selling a dream. It’s up to them to wake up.” 

Laverne, who is hoping to one day be in a Tyler Perry movie, says that she’s even played the other side of the woke tragedy, sitting in a boardroom playing an executive. 

“BLM, DEI, Woke America is all a facade,” she says, “but look if I can play my part for societal change and people are going to pay me then why not.”