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WWWD: Canada’s Broken Elbows 🇨🇦

Canadian retailers have been pivoting to replace “Elbows Up” with the classic red-and-white gear, proving that Canadians will always buy whatever they’re told to, whether it’s socialism, vaccines, or last-minute nationalism. All this and more in the Weird Week in Woke Digest.

How ‘Financing a Burrito’ Is Bankrupting GenZ 

While the phrase "finance a burrito" is typically a joke, the concept of paying for small purchases in installments or "Buy Now, Pay Later" (BNPL) has become wildly popular, especially among the terminally online and always broke GenZ set.

Black DEI Hires Called “Lazy,” “Slow,” and “Dumb”

After George Floyd’s death, Jamal Washington went from dollar store night security guard to million dollar fintech CEO—now he’s turning corporate America upside down. “This ain’t equity,” he tells GWU! “It’s a heist.”

7 First Ladies Who Are Actually Men—GWU! Transvestigation Exclusive

The evil gender inversion of political transwives is all part of a larger plan to pervert humanity while enriching the global elite and bankrupting morality as outlined by GWU! gossip columnist to the stars, Clammy J. Byner.

It’s No Conspiracy to GWU!

Mat Brown returns to the Get Woke Up! studio to blow up the official 9/11 narrative. And this is one 9/11 report you won’t want to be sabotaged by the CIA.

Confessions of a Crypto Rug Puller: $TRUMP Coin Exposed!!!

Posing as the son of a Nigerian Prince, it wasn’t hard for me to infiltrate the crypto community, says Johnny Jock, who went deep undercover into the dark and ruthless world of crypto shit coins.

King Carney’s Can Con

Put away your history books and cancel your daily newspaper delivery, as international artist Mat Brown paints the Get Woke Up! podcast a chilling picture of the never-ending dumpster fire formally known as Canada.

American Catholics Confess: New Pope Can Go to Hell!!!

MAGA Catholics breathing smoke as Chicago-born Pope embraces globalism, open borders & leftist agendas—betraying Trump’s America First doctrine. Everyday faithful vow to defend tradition against Vatican’s woke revolt.

Quiz: Are You Living in a Fascist State?

Amid political turmoil and social instability, many Americans are wondering if the true state of the nation is actually a fascist state. Take the GWU! Quiz to find out where you stand!!!

Marc Maron Is Actually Pretty Funny… After All the TDS Drivel: Says Boomer

During a trip to Vermont, Toby P. Gelman finds himself at a Marc Maron comedy show, only to find they have more in common than they think.

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