Canada’s deeply unpopular Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland’s political future is shaky, but so is her current health, diagnoses one Montreal doctor. And he’s snitching on Freeland’s twitching.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, the disguised doctor shared with GWU! his official medical findings. He claims that the politician’s frequent shaking, fidgeting and twitching has increased tenfold since the onset of the so-called pandemic.
“Chrystia began exhibiting these disturbing signs of ill health just before she shut down the truckers bank accounts during the Freedom Convoy,” recalls our French speaking doctor as translated by Bing AI over Microsoft Teams.
The doctor admits to disliking the MP from Toronto and her political party for forcing so many Canadians to get the poisonous Covid-19 vaccine shots. But he defends his comments by saying that the Hippocratic Oath compels him to ‘do no harm’ and even applies to ‘sociopaths.’ He insists he has no medical malice towards Freeland, but is just sharing his medical observations of social media videos featuring the bad faith political actor in the hope that she will get the medical or mental help she clearly needs.
As to what is specifically wrong with the former journalist turned finance minister the doctor says there are a number of possibilities.
Liberal Use of Drugs
When detested Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s plane was grounded after the G20 Leaders Summit in September 2023 for suspected Schedule 1 narcotics on board, many, including our doctor, wondered if the PM wasn’t the only person onboarding getting high.
“We all know Justin loves drugs. He turned Canada into a giant stinking pot-hole when he legalized marijuana, as part of his sunny ways election promises. It’s entirely possible that his whole cabinet is freebasing, especially after reading some of their policy.”
He goes on to cite that wild-eyed Freeland’s inability to keep still, constant nose touching and sniffing are textbook signs of a user of substances that could include cocaine, DMT, Methamphetamines or all of them at the same time.
Vaccine, Heal Thy Self
When Canadians were ordered to get the vaccine in 2021, Liberals like Freeland were dictated by their Big Pharma paymasters to set an example, by taking the jab. Despite most politicians such as her boss Trudeau opting to substitute the experimental poison with saline solution, one popular theory is that Freeland was actually stupid enough to take the ‘safe and effective’ jabs, plus boosters.
“Many of my patients who were forced by their employer (via the government—ed) to take the dangerous mRNA vaccines have shown similar side effects as Chrystia,” criticizes the doctor who almost lost his license when he advised caution around lockdowns and vaccines on social media. “The shaking, palpitations, sweaty palms, and nervous smile are all the kinds of ailments I’m seeing in hundreds of my patients.”
Expelling the Demons
Deeply religious, but grounded in science, the devout Roman Catholic doctor says that online speculation of demonic possession could be one scary possibility that explains red dress wearing Freeland’s bizarre movements—as though something is compelling her involuntary movements.
“Just one example of truly evil behavior is the video where she shifted from laughing like a maniac to nodding and smiling like the devil himself, as she reveled in the freezing of truckers bank accounts. This is not normal human behavior,” pipes the religious believer. “If she was my patient, I would prescribe her to stay off the WEF agenda and refer her to see an old priest and a young priest.”
Disney + Despotism
From warmongering for Ukraine to decimating the economy with her tax and spend policies as Finance Minister, the self described ‘privileged’ Freeland has shown again and again that her first allegiance is not to Canada, insists the doctor.
“Of course, it’s just as possible that the only thing wrong with her is her morals,” shrugs the doctor. He theorizes that she may just be exhibiting signs of guilt for selling out Canada on the international stage as she nervously plays with her pearls.
“I guess I would be nervous too if I were implementing the 2030 globalist agenda. But then again, I didn’t write George Soros’s biography and my grandfather wasn’t a Nazi propagandist, so, you know.”
Tabarnak les Tourettes
They say that loose lips sink ships, but our doctor isn’t worried about Freeland torpedoing what’s left of Canada’s pathetic naval force (that she cut the budget to as Finance Minister—ed), as much as he’s worried about her saying something outrageous during one of her many international meetings where she is acting as a representative of Canada.
“Chrystia seems to be keeping her potty mouth in check, but all the signs of tourettes are there,” barks our political spin doctor. “But,” he continues, “she can’t attend a single hard hat wearing non-announcement announcement without mugging and nodding away at people who aren’t there and having half conversations with imaginary people. This is not a serious government, seriously.”
Back to the Future
The doctor GWU! spoke with isn’t the only expert wondering about Freeland’s health. Many armchair medical experts on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn have diagnosed the former journalist with a number of ailments including the same disease as Canadian icon Michael J. Fox, who played Marty McFly in Back to the Future. Fox, who went public with his battle with Parkinson disease has become a hero to the many sufferers of the condition around the globe.
“I doubt anyone will be asking Freeland to speak on behalf of the disease,” says our doctor who has voted Liberal most of his life, but plans to vote Conservative in the 2025 election. “She lied, cheated, and abused Canadian citizens. To compare her with the inspiring legend Michael J. Fox is like comparing pancakes to, how do you say, French toast.”
