It’s true! The world’s most powerful politicians’ wives are trannys, according to a long, hard and probing GWU! transvestigative drill down on the men in womanface playing puppet with geo-political affairs. The evil gender inversion is all part of a larger plan to pervert humanity while enriching the global elite and bankrupting morality as outlined by GWU! gossip columnist to the stars, Clammy J. Byner.
1. Pocketing his French Baguette
The slap-happy “First Lady” of France, Brigitte Macron famously bedded and buggered Emmanuel Macron when he was just 15 and she was his 39-year-old high school teacher. Despite the cover story of having had three children from a previous marriage there are more holes in that story than there were in France’s wartime defence plans against Germany, reports beret wearing Byner.
“Anyone can tell that she is obviously a he. My Black sister from another mother, Candace Owens, has resisted the lies and blown up YouTube, making this obvious French connection.” Her investigative journalism has the collaborating French media aristocracy complex shaming and even suing the American truth teller.
“The They/Them of the Left are calling for her head,” frowns Byner as he defiantly shifts his beret firmly to the right. “And I worry that they’re winning. Like Winston Churchill said: ‘A lie can halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its penis pocket pants on.’”
Byner says that while middle-aged Macron may be beating around the bush (often with lover and former Canadian PM, Justin Trudeau—ed) about his septuagenarian sexually swapped wife, there’s a reason for his and indeed all these world leaders’ unholy unions with transwives.
“It’s all about controlling these powerful men. And what better way to control a man than with a wife with male energy blasting out of his beat stick?”
2. Yes She Can, Have an Adam’s Apple
With his muscular build, square jawline and man hands, ‘First Lady’ Michelle Obama is a triple threat as a political trans wife. Although Big Mike posed as a powerful advocate for women’s and girls’ rights along with healthy eating during his eight years as ‘First Lady,’ this former lawyer clearly believes in neither. And there’s simply no defence for this former defendant, argues Byner. He says that pretending to be a woman is no way to advocate for them. Ditto for healthy eating, he sneers. “Uhm, did you see her bloated body shoved into a booth on his and Obama’s totally not PR manufactured wedding anniversary?”
This transwife is rumoured to now be transitioning out of that fake marriage as gay hubby Barack has pointed his pol finder towards another powerful inverted Hollywood tranny, Jennifer Aniston. Although the ‘Office Space’ star denies the relationship, the two men have been spotted by paparazzi canoodling in Cannes and nuzzling in New York.
Byner says that ‘bestselling author’ and ‘Hollywood film producer’ Michelle probably deserves an even higher rank on the GWU! list as he’s been successful in the gender inversion game for a long time and been able to cover the deception well. “Of course, there was that one time my late gal pal Joan Rivers said Michelle was a man in 2014 and then died under mysterious circumstances. So, making Michelle number one might not be the safest career move for me!”
3. Xi Jinping
Dictator extraordinaire Xi Jinping has kept an iron curtain over his “First Lady’s” private parts. In a land shrouded in control, lies, and intrigue, one secret that Xi can’t keep though, is that his so-called ‘wife’ Peng Liyuan is actually a ‘male person’ (translated from Chinese—ed).
“Look, I shouldn’t be saying this,” reveals a nervous and paranoid Byner, turning off his Dumbphone and sealing it in a Faraday bag. “But let’s just say that Xi likes his noodles thick and long …. and, although the translation is loose, calls them genitals.” He further speculates that Xi, like many other leaders on this list, was coerced into the demonic relationship as part of a ritualistic initiation into the cabal of the global elite. “This Ching Chong Ding Dong wanted his nation to play ball in the Western economy. He just didn’t know how much balls he would have to play with for China to win the global trade war.”
Xi, who is currently in a dick measuring contest with President Donald Trump, has never publicly admitted to his asian rice balls bromance, but Byner insists that this top of the Chinese Communist Party is “generally a bottom.”
“Xi is a mini Mao and we all know that, despite the propaganda, Mao liked his wontons packed with meat.”
4. Doctoring the truth
Controlling, bossy and bitchy are just a few of the nice ways that Whitehouse insiders describe former ‘First lady’ Dr. Jill Biden. From his beginnings as a supply teacher and former babysitter to the Biden family, Jill is as much of a woman as she is a doctor. (When you can’t be an actual doctor, you get a doctorate in education—ed)
“No real woman would dress in the table cloths and grandma curtain patterns that Jill hides her manhood under,” cuts our sartorial soothsayer. Byner goes on to say that this womanface pretenders aggressive management of his husband/potato, Joe, only further proves the well-known allegations of there being a twig and berries hidden under his flowery dress. “Jill pushed Joe to run, twice. Both times knowing that he was not fit for office. The second go round was, of course, the worst as by that point Joe couldn’t fulfill any of his presidential responsibilities.” President Donald Trump himself has called into question the use of an autopen to sign questionable documents that personally enriched the Biden crime family from 2021–25. “That really brings into question the legitimacy of anything signed under the administration and who was really wearing the pants in the Oval Office at the time.”
5. Circus Freak Wife of a Carney
A newcomer to the establishment of transwives running and ruining the world is ‘wife’ of recently selected Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, Diana Fox-Carney.
So far, Diana (born Dan) has been a behind-the-scenes operator. This bearded lady to ring master Carney has an impressive public resume. His 7-inch long Curriculum Vitae includes having worked at the Overseas Development Institute (ODI), the World Bank and Canada’s International Development Research Centre. His less public credentials include serving as a Senior Advisor at Eurasia Group (a political risk consultancy) from 2011 to 2013, while his husband was Governor of the Bank of Canada (2008–2013). During his time with the organization (with documented Liberal Party ties—ed), he helped secure lucrative government contract fees for undisclosed ‘consulting.’ “This is one Fox in the hen house to be on the watch for,” warns Byner. “Staying mostly in the shadows (to hide his five o’clock shadow), Diana is poised to convert Canada into an enviro-communist hellscape.” The Clam-man warns that the pale, boney insectoid-looking transwife is more dangerous than he looks. “Like a praying mantis, this green-blooded predator can’t be trusted, especially when he has his elbows up.”
6. Pretty Woman
Populist Argentinian prez, Javier Milei is never one to shy away from the spotlight or controversy. That outsider sensibility was on full display when in 2023 the anti-bureaucratic bachelor announced he would not have a first lady, calling the role “anachronistic.” Since then, however, the Libertarian playboy has been tied to “actresses” Yuyito González and prior to that Fátima Flórez.
“Those bitches are as bro as you can go,” crows Byner. “While Javier doesn’t like to bend over for anyone …. let’s just say he made a presidential pardon for these dudettes.”
While in the land of the white and sky blue, they love their sausages, Byner suggests Milel, who fictitiously transformed Argentina’s economy skin deep, is, in fact, also trans. “He’s a she, identifying as Roy Orbison.”
7. Model inversion
Former model Melania (as well as past and current ‘First lady’) has been tuck tricking since the 1980s. The story goes that Melania was ‘discovered’ as a model at the age of 16 while pickpocketing tourists in his native shithole, Slovenia. Plucked out of obscurity, a whirlwind modelling career followed that eventually landed the cat-faced prowler in the tiny yet graspy hands of Donald Trump.
Byner oozes that he first heard about the new European t-girl in 1995. “I was on the set of Fox sitcom ‘Wild Oats’ where he was preparing to do a sexy swimsuit walk-on gag. There was a bikini bottom wardrobe malfunction and for a brief moment the entire crew witnessed Melania’s slipped out cat tail.” Laughed off at the time by cast and crew, this BLT hamfisting didn’t harm Melania’s career in the slightest, insists Byner. “He traded his innocence and true identity for fame and fortune with, let’s say, ‘powerful people’ to play a role in future geopolitical events. His sham marriage to Trump and fake pregnancy with ‘son’ Barron are all part of a larger plan that is way above my pay grade, darlings!”
But Byner does have a theory: “Most, if not all of our current political masters are closeted gays. They’ve been paired by the world’s real power brokers with these cock grasping handlers as a method of control.” And Byner, who is just one of GWU!s openly gay reporters, says that’s the problem. “Barack, Donald, Javier, Joe, Xi, Mark and Emmanuel are all essentially trapped by these grotesque male escorts, making them do even more shameful things to their citizens than they do with their transwives in the bedroom.”
