The election of Far-Left Globalist Technocrat and faux-environmentalist-banker Mark Carney is leading many Canadians to flee the wokified nation.
Anointed as Prime Minister last March by Canadian elites and his WEF bosses, Carney narrowly won a federal election in April. The former adviser to Justin Trudeau campaigned on Donald Trump invading Canada, tariffs, and policy items stolen from the populist Conservative Party (that he has no intention of implementing—ed).
Many Canadians now fear for their basic rights and freedoms as the new regime has pledged to increase censorship, ratchet up taxes, and continue to tank the country’s struggling economy with mass immigration and increased government spending, further ballooning the 1.5 trillion dollar national debt even higher than during the last ten years of the previous Trudeau-led junta.
With Canada plunging further into a DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) dystopia, desperate Canucks are fleeing south.
America’s Number One Source of Newstainment, GWU! spoke with two heroic American families who have opened their doors to these refugees of woke tyranny, offering them sanctuary from the oppressive grip of the Carney-led Liberal government.
The Johnsons: Floridian Freedom Fighters
In the sunny, regulation-free paradise of Florida, the Johnson family has turned their guesthouse into a halfway house for freedom hungry fugees fleeing Canada.
“We’ve got three families bunking in the pool house,” Dave Johnson tells GWU! via MicroSoft Teams. The proud patriot who owns both a grill and a ‘Don’t Tread on Me’ flag says the refugees showed up with tears in their eyes, clutching Tim Hortons cups like they were relics of a lost civilization. “One guy kept whispering, ‘They took our pronouns…’ We had to sedate him with Chick-fil-A.”
One Canadian escapee, who asked to be referred to only as “Formerly Woke Trevor,” described his harrowing journey to GWU! “I woke up one day and realized my taxes were funding a ‘trans-inclusive bike lane.’ I knew then I had to leave before they forced me to apologize to a gender-neutral snowplow.”
The Garcias: Texas’ Liberty Lighthouse
Meanwhile, in Texas, the Garcia family has turned their ranch into a full-blown safe space for Canadians seeking freedom from Carney’s syrup-scented socialism.
“We take them in, deprogram them with BBQ and football, and teach them the sacred words: ‘Y’all’ and ‘Second Amendment,’” Maria Garcia tells GWU! “The first thing they do is burn their government-issued apology cards. It’s beautiful.”
One emotional Alberta refugee under the Garcia’s protection who now identifies as, Based Barry, recalled the final straw: “Like most Canadians, I worked in a government job as part of the bloated bureaucracy. I lasted through the forced Covid vaccine mandates, the mandated pronoun sign offs on emails and all the post-colonial white-settler guilt garbage.” But Barry says the final straw was when the government funded mainstream media colluded to demonize the opposition party Conservatives and ensure a Liberal win.
“There is no freedom of speech in Canada. The state funded media told the boomers and the immigrants to get their ‘Elbows up’ against Trump and that ‘nasty’ Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre was going to ban abortion (he never said that he would—ed) and the NPC crowd ate it up with zero critical thinking.”
The disenfranchised 30-year-old who realized he now had zero hope of ever owning a home tells GWU! he grabbed his hockey stick, his poutine recipe, and his last shred of dignity, and booked it to the border.
“I figured that with Canada moving to phase out oil and gas, Texas would have more opportunity than a country that refuses to build new pipelines and actually use its natural resources.”
The Future of Canadian Refugees
As more Canadians plot their escape—some via empty Chinese cargo containers, others by bribing border agents with Timbits—these heroic American families stand ready to help.
“Democracy is over up there,” Dave Johnson declared solemnly. “But here in America, we still believe in freedom, capitalism, and the right to deep-fry anything. Welcome home, eh?”
