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Toby P. Gelman

From his home in Moscow, Ohio, syndicated newspaper columnist, podcaster, father of six, husband to Greta, and author of the Johnny Jock PI series, Toby P. Gelman fights for truth, justice, and the American way. #1776!
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Dem Election Watch Party Turns into Horror Show

An emotional election ends with tears from some of the most delusional American voters after Trump sails to landslide victory.

Hungry Haitian Illegals in Ohio Hating on Man’s Best Friend!

The Duane family of Springfield, Ohio, knew something was unusual when Gizmo, their family cat of 13 years, didn’t come home after midnight. 

Grab her by the pussy cat! Trump tames Kamala in presidential debate

6 takeaways on how Trump neutered Kommie Kamala and made the legacy media lose bigly!!!

Colonizer Clothing Line Settles Complex Issue of White Privilege, says White Chick

After drug addict George Floyd overdosed while robbing a Minnesota convenience store, Amber Parks knew she had to do something. 

Summa Cum Gaza My Ass: Says Boomer

Toby gets even after local community college cancels graduation in support of Gaza!
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Breaking the Narrative

Breaking the Narrative: Unvaxxxed Sperm Is the New Bitcoin! 🐵

Breaking the Narrative — Newsletter 0
When a marketing rep in the adult film industry discovered the COVID vaccine was the reason she couldn’t get pregnant, the busty blue-eyed blonde knew she was screwed. Read the latest edition of Breaking the Narrative.

Breaking the Narrative: United We Stand, Unless We’re Tired

Breaking the Narrative — Newsletter 0
Want to know how your freedom of speech is being censored by the Woke Left? Find out in Breaking the Narrative!!!

Breaking the Narrative: Spaced Out Indigenous Air Rage

Breaking the Narrative — Newsletter 0
Want to know how students can occupy a non-political space and still graduate with honors? Find out in Breaking the Narrative!!!

Weird Week in Woke

Weird Week in Woke Digest: October 27–November 2

Weird Week in Woke Digest — Newsletter 0
Our Wokesperts™ are grimly reaping all the woke terrors and ready to prescribe you the secret to a long and happy life.

Weird Week in Woke Digest: September 15–21

Weird Week in Woke Digest — Newsletter 0
Our Wokesperts™ are grimly reaping all the woke terrors and ready to prescribe you the secret to a long and happy life.

Weird Week in Woke Digest: September 1–7

Weird Week in Woke Digest — Newsletter 0
Our Wokesperts™ are grimly reaping all the woke terrors and ready to prescribe you the secret to a long and happy life.

GWU! Podcast

Haitian to Eat the Cats

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Is emotional support presidential running mate Uncle Tim Walz ready to perform gender-affirming surgery on the White Boys for Walz? Find out on the Get Woke Up! podcast with special guest @worthitorwoke

Trump Makes an Assassination Out of MAGA

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From the sleepy secret service fields of Butler, PA, to a SpaceX trip across flat Earth, blast off with Mad Dug and Anthony!

Forecast for Bird Flu Is a Total Yolk!

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Summer’s here and the time is right for “Juneteenthing” on the beach! Join Mad Dug and Anthony Anderson as they discuss everything on the Internet!
Fearless, independent, and unapologetic, our gonzo reporters serve up all the newstainment GWU! need to know. From the Current Thing to Clown World—from Santa Cruz to Saint Petersburg—GWU! is breaking 100% of the narrative for you unlike any other so-called safe and effective sources of infotainment.
Media Monkey Ink. 2024