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America's #1 Newstainment Source

Toby P. Gelman

From his home in Moscow, Ohio, syndicated newspaper columnist, podcaster, father of six, husband to Greta, and author of the Johnny Jock PI series, Toby P. Gelman fights for truth, justice, and the American way. #1776!
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True Canadians Stand On Guard For Thee

I’m more toned off than a missing lyric in the Canadian national anthem over the way the so-called ‘liberal’ citizens are trashing the big...

Professor Amir Attaran Ain’t Going to be Teaching My Kids!

I’m more fired up than a cricket roasting over a Trudeau-style bug spit over the way the University of Pyongyang, formerly known as the...

Justin Trudeau Wishes Happy Fathers Day to … Fidel Castro !?!

Justin time for Fathers Day Woke Up! is delivering the news about Justin Trudeau's possible parentage. The long-running theory that Justin Trudeau is actually...

Cis White Males Need Not Apply

I’m more volatile than a Bitcoin expert working at Coinbase over the way the Woke are discriminating against white men. Why just the other day,...

Twitter’s Great Firewall of Censorship

I’m angrier than a teenage Uyghur sent to a ‘summer fun ‘re-education camp’ in Shanghai over the way Twitter is “clamping” down on free...
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Breaking the Narrative

2024: The year GWU! broke the narrative!!!

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We captured the chaos of 2024 in both stunning images and award-winning graphics. Enjoy some of our best work of the year and be sure to subscribe for more woke madness exposed in 2025!!!

Breaking the Narrative: Unvaxxxed Sperm Is the New Bitcoin! 🐵

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When a marketing rep in the adult film industry discovered the COVID vaccine was the reason she couldn’t get pregnant, the busty blue-eyed blonde knew she was screwed. Read the latest edition of Breaking the Narrative.

Breaking the Narrative: United We Stand, Unless We’re Tired

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Want to know how your freedom of speech is being censored by the Woke Left? Find out in Breaking the Narrative!!!

Weird Week in Woke

Weird Week in Woke Digest: January 5–11 🔥

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DEI is under fire once more after reliable sources on the ground in Los Angeles have revealed that the out-of-control wildfires are not a result of so-called “Climate Change,” as the mainstream media would have you believe. All this and more in the Weird Week in Woke Digest.

Weird Week in Woke Digest: December 15–21

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Pardon me, folks, but Joe Biden is dispensing pardons like Epstein poured soft serve ice cream on Pinocchio Island. All this and more in the Weird Week in Woke Digest.

Weird Week in Woke Digest: December 1–7

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Foul balls: Riley Gaines praised the latest team to forfeit a volleyball game against San Jose State’s Blaire Fleming—the only male on the all-women’s team. All this and more in the Weird Week in Woke Digest.

GWU! Podcast

Luigi Mangione’s Christmas Manicotti Manifesto Special

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Is that Italian stallion in the back of the police cruiser a cold-blooded assassin or just another pretty face from the CIA? We have the secret holiday recipe for truth, wit and Luigi Mangione’s Christmas Manicotti Manifesto.

Third Times a Trump

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Thanks to the mainstream media getting roasted, DJ Trump rose from the ashes  in an historic landslide election win. Join Mad Dug and Anthony as they were live on location to drink up all the libtard tears.

Haitian to Eat the Cats

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Is emotional support presidential running mate Uncle Tim Walz ready to perform gender-affirming surgery on the White Boys for Walz? Find out on the Get Woke Up! podcast with special guest @worthitorwoke
Fearless, independent, and unapologetic, our gonzo reporters serve up all the newstainment GWU! need to know. From the Current Thing to Clown World—from Santa Cruz to Saint Petersburg—GWU! is breaking 100% of the narrative for you unlike any other so-called safe and effective sources of infotainment.
Media Monkey Ink. 2025