America’s Number One Source of Newstainment, GWU! spoke with the man who claims to have started the trend on a leftwing Reddit forum. Via MicroSoft Teams, u/doubledoubledoug, says that these cafes are not just serving coffee—they’re serving a message of national pride and resistance to external pressures. “We Canadians take our coffee pretty seriously. The lineups at our Canadian-owned coffee empire, Tim Hortons, are legendary. And that’s not just because of international students screwing up all the orders.”
No Sugar
Since the Trump administration took office, Canada has faced increasing economic and political challenges from its southern neighbor, including threats to make it the 51st state. Despite being one of America’s closest allies, Canada has been subjected to tariffs and policies that many Canadians view as unfair and heavy-handed. Doug says this is what has sparked the wave of frustration across the country, leading to creative forms of protest—like the renaming of a beloved coffee drink.
Cafe owners from Ottawa to Toronto are leading the charge. William Oliveira, a Toronto cafe owner, explained his decision to rename the drink in an interview with the Washington Post: “This is about standing up for our identity. We’re proud to be Canadian, and we won’t be pushed around by anyone, not even our friends to the south.” His sentiment echoes a growing desire among Canadians to assert their independence and resist what they perceive as American dominance.
Otta-wahhhhhhh! Cafe
In Ottawa, another cafe owner described the renaming as a way to “make light of a serious situation.” He added, “We don’t need to rely on American branding to sell our coffee. This is our way of saying we’re proud of who we are.”
Despite the fact that coffee beans can not be grown in the northern hemisphere nation, and that americano is an Italian word, the stir-crazy Canucks are sucking down the idea.
The move has garnered widespread support online boasts Doug, with many praising the cafes for their clever and lighthearted approach to a serious issue. One commenter on Reddit wrote, “This is the kind of patriotic pettiness I can get behind. Canada should always stand strong against the existential threat of Donald Trump.” Another added, “It’s about time we pushed back against the idea that everything has to be American-centric.
Some have even suggested taking the renaming trend further, proposing menu items like the “Gulp of Mexico” or the “Denali Decaf” as a nod to other regions affected by American policies. “Why should we let the U.S. dictate everything?” asked Doug. “This is a small but meaningful way to reclaim our independence.”
Spilt Tea
The trivial renaming of a style of coffee is expected to have the same impact as Canada’s recently imposed 25% tariffs on American goods. One Canadian economist who spoke with GWU! rolled her eyes at the war of words, calling the Canadian tariffs on US goods “as insignificant to Americans as rounding error.”
Calmly sipping tea in her home she continued that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau‘s tariffs on US products entering Canada will only hurt consumers in her country. “It’s individual consumers who will pay for all this grandstanding in the end. Besides,” she adds, “I think we all know the real reason for this trade war. It’s so the Liberals can run against Donald Trump in the next election rather than Pierre Poilievre.”
Poilievre is the leader of the opposition Conservative Party who had been riding high in the polls until out going leader Trudeau thumbed his nose at Trumps demands for increased boarder security to stem illegal people and drugs from entering America. “If the Prime Minister had of just negotiated in good faith, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
Strange Brew
Doug insists that the coffee campaign is good old-fashioned “Canadian snark” at its finest, citing the legacy of the nation’s dead and or forgotten comedic satirists such as Stephen Leacock, Mordecai Richler and Mike Myers.
