A lawsuit between the Palestine Liberation Circle occupiers and the University of Toronto Campus Security has one campus cop protesting what he says are false allegations!
The part-time campus security officer, who spoke with GWU! on the condition of anonymity, says that the accusations against him and his fellow blue brothers are “simply outrageous.”
The claim states, among other things, that campus security covertly took photos of protestors while they slept naked in their tents. Protestors claim that they were forced to sleep naked and leave their tent flaps open because of an unseasonal heat wave, which supposedly struck downtown Toronto in early May. They claim goes onto explain that upon doing this a gang of perverted rent-a-cops busted in with cameras, violating their rights on the land they were illegally squatting on.
Cry Me A River to The Sea
“What heatwave,” asks GWU!’s very own Clammy J. Byner who was a former assistant to famed Toronto TV meteorologist ‘Hurricane’ Harold Hosein. “This spring has been one of the cooler on record. Grab an umbrella, there’s zero chance of climate change!”
The campus cop, who moved to Canada from Palestine 20 years ago, says that he is shocked by what he’s seen at the encampment. “While I obviously support my homeland, the war between Israel and Palestine has been going on for hundreds of years. Not sure why these ornery kids from Oakville suddenly care.”
Our protest exposing part-time enforcer further tattles that once the sun goes down, and the reporters leave, the humanitarian-rights protest looks more like a Playboy swingers party than a genocide prevention protest. “I’ve heard of drugs, orgies and lots of racy behavior. Honestly, I’ve considered giving my notice and setting up a tent,” jokes the cop who admits to once voting for Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who he blames for the students’ permissive partying.
“With the Liberal government’s liberal stance on abortion you can bet these wild child sex hungry activists aren’t using protection.”
Is That a Keffiyeh in Your Pocket…
The Palestinian security guard, who has been keeping the campus safe since before the so-called Pandemic, says that although he doesn’t disagree with the idea of the protest, he is surprised that these students, along with the far more numerous non-students, would support the Hamas terrorist organization.
“They ordered us to take photos so that students could later be identified by the administrators. I was just doing my job.” In fact, the copper, who prefers Match.com over Tinder, adds that most of the women and men at the protest are undesirable. “I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures. They’re keeping those masks on for a reason.”
Our tattler also confides that U of T recently ordered security to install more cameras and recording devices, which they purchased from The Source, formerly Radio Shack. The university also hired Marie Henein, the famed defense lawyer for disgraced CBC ‘Q’ host Jian Gohmeshi, to help defend their hardworking Peeping Tom coppers.
The cautious campus cop, who fears retribution from both the school and protestors, was reluctant to say what the university plans to do next with the gyrating for Gaza tent swappers. “With lawyers now involved everyone needs to mind their Qs and PeePees!”
