Software Logistics Officer Sandra Miller sat in a semicircle with her colleagues examining her privilege, her microaggressive behaviours, and unconscious racism that even she didn’t know about. Her butt hurt. And it wasn’t only from sitting in the hard metal folding chair she’d been trapped in for the past four hours as her old white boss introduced special guest after special guest on Zoom for ‘courageous conversations’ in the ‘safe space’ of the Fortune 500 corporate boardroom in Vancouver, BC, where Miller has worked for six years.
It was the day before a long weekend holiday and Miller had a different kind of turkey on her mind than the Two Spirited Microaggression ‘expert’ acting out common office microaggressions with hand puppets via video chat.
“It was like being in kindergarten,” laments Miller. “But without any of the singing, joy or actual learning.”
Miller says that the day-long rap session, as management coined it, was to address so-called cultural inclusion, equity, diversity, LGBTQ2, transphobia and some other buzzwords that she says she can’t even remember.
Woke Washed Weasel Words
“The whole thing was hastily put together and all set off because we do a lot of back end work with The Bay. They had just announced they would be donating funds from the sale of their famous striped blanket to support indigenous initiatives.”
The American owned Hudson’s Bay Company traces its origin to 1670 when it dealt in trading furs with indigenous peoples in North America for resale in Europe. The iconic white with coloured stripes ‘Bay Blanket’ over time became the signature calling card for the company. A history that progressives claim is steeped in colonialism.
Historians have argued that the blankets were responsible for bringing smallpox to the indigenous, a virus that actually killed much of the population. The Bay has never admitted to this outrageous accusation, which occurred 300 years ago.
Miller asked that Get Woke Up! not name her company specifically, but says she has heard of the same sort of “cultural brainwashing” happening across corporate Canada.
“I’m not against some of the things they’re talking about. I’m fine with most of it actually. But my concern is that all this political talk has nothing to do with our work but we’re all forced to playact that we care about some corporations’ supposed guilt. And they don’t even mean it. They’re just woke washing the actual issues that exist in society.”
Woke-washing is a term used to define practices in business that provide the appearance of social consciousness without any of the substance. Critics of the practice say that ethically problematic companies use social movements to increase sales without addressing how their business is complicit in the problems that exist.
“The thing is, we don’t even really deal with any of the brand stuff the Bay does. We basically manage their rewards points system and some inventory software. I don’t get why I need to be educated in all the bad things the Bay did in order to make all the money they’ve made over the past 300 years.”
Done with Office Politics
Miller is so disillusioned with corporate woke washing that she’s decided to leave her company to pursue writing a poetry book on the subject. She began writing on company time in a practice Get Woke Up has also covered called quiet quitting.
“The funny thing is, I’m mixed heritage, white, Black and Asian but I’ve always been perceived as white. Still, my work place wedged me in this very small, uncomfortable box to show everyone how woke they are. I will no longer be labeled by opportunistic, self righteous fake tears corporations.”
The budding author already has a title for her planned book: Spin Cycle: Woke Washing Corporate Conscience Clean.
