For regular folks figuring out a Halloween costume for the annual office Halloween party can be a worrisome drag—especially with all the modern day rules HR has about what you can dress up as without triggering Karen in Accounting. But frighteningly, dressing up in offensive, triggering costumes has never been a problem for the 23rd Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau. In fact, Canada’s master of disguise recently shared his spooky Halloween costume ideas with a dozen international global leaders.
Get Woke Up! brings you the sweetest Trudeau flavoured guide to politically incorrect Halloween costumes featuring everyone from Giorgia Meloni to King Charles III. Hey, if Justin Trudeau can get away with it, so can any shill WEF installed ruler!
12. HAIL TO THE CHIEF
Nobody knows indigenous culture like chief head dresser and cultural scalper, Justin Trudeau. That’s why this Halloween the ‘far-out’ new PM of pasta Giorgia Meloni can feel socially righteous showing up to parliament in Rome dressed like she just walked out of a peyote imbibed Pow Wow. Meloni just has to remember that Justin wouldn’t want her to self-determine her right wing right to stand near the clean water cooler.
11. COTTAGE CHEESE PLEASE
Chrystia won’t even have to load up on empty carbs before squeezing into Justin’s extra fat suit. Thanks mayonnaise! When JT dropped off the suit at Freeland’s place he reminded her to always check her candy for any of the drugs that make the former journalist and current WEF witch, twitch. (And to save him the black ones!)
10. YOU’LL OWN NOTHING AND I’LL HAVE—ONE BAJILLION DOLLARS!
When Klaus called Trudeau for their weekly phone sex chat, Herr Schwab broke off the dirty talk to query what he should parade around in this Halloween. S&M Dungeon Slave Master? Freaky German Shizen film star? No. The two landed on something more fitting for the bald sour-kraut.
9. THE BEST TIME TO PLANT A TREE WAS 20 YEARS AGO
Back in 2013 when JT said he “admired China’s basic dictatorship” to a room full of rich wine sipping corporate wives who would have guessed that he would live out his dictatorial dreams during Canada’s Freedom Convoy? Us, we totally told you so, like a million times. Xi ‘hearted’ Justin’s suggestion on his private TikTok account, but ultimately decided to instead go as his hero, Winnie The Poo.
8. NO SUNAK FOR BORE
It’s not exactly singing Queen in a $2000 per night London hotel bar, but Trudeau couldn’t help himself recommending the former Downing Street lush to go as a classic Chelsea supporter. He already has the hair of the dog of a man who drinks 18 pints in the first half and yells at his tele.
7. IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN
This was a no brainer for the man with no brain (we’re talking about Trudeau, but we get the confusion). When Sleepy Joe Brandon called for costume advice, Justin proposed he dress as a great, wise leader. (It would be a stretch! enthused JT!) But after repeating to the 80 year old leader for the eighth time what he should dress up as, Justin gave up and said, “Just go as yourself.”
6. IT’S GONNA BE THE BEST MOST PATRIOTIC COSTUME EVER
Justin and Trump haven’t been on good terms since that night with a bottle of tequila, Melania, and a Russian midget who’s name rhymes with Rutin. Forgettable nights aside, Justin advised the former prez to go as one of his supporters. JT mistakenly envisioned an overweight sloth clicking away on PornHub in his mother’s basement. But Trump, man of the people, understood and, like his supporters, will be going out as a proud civil war patriot.
5. FAULTY OPERATING SYSTEM
When Billy contacted the PMO over TEAMS for advice, Trudeau was happy to help, since they were both huge fans of the COVID vaccine. But a supposed surge in cases is making this Halloween a working night dream for Bill, as he’ll be handing out candy vaccine boosters. (Word of advice: Avoid Bill’s private island on the 31st.)
4. TIT OR TREAT
Serial socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has never been shy to flaunt her giant bags of candy and share them with the American electorate. But AOC still wondered how she could really get a handle on her gifts to the world and ensure they were equally shared. An expert on experiencing things differently, Trudeau was quick to suggest the Jr. senator dress up as the infamous Oakville teacher with prosthetic political breasts. In the name of equity he even offered to help fit her. Talk about a mammoth socialist handful!
3. ZOOMBOMB ZEDONG
In March 2020 when Teresa Tam realized she could be the Max Headroom of 2019—see her bobbing head on Zoom—she also realized that she could control an entire country with her head on ever screen ga-ga-ga-garbage science. When Trudeau Zoomed her up, he could think of no one better than Mao Zedong, former President of Communist China. (Okay, this gag is almost exactly the same as # 9, but hey, that’s communism!)
2. NO MORE HORSING AROUND
The other day while Justin was feeding the police horse that trampled the old indigenous lady during the Freedom Convoy protest in Ottawa, Justin looked straight into the horses eyes…. and realized he forgot to drop Jacinda Ardern off in New Zealand! “Zoinks!,” exclaimed Justin. Last month Jacinda had hitched a ride on his WEF airbus express and he forgot to send the old girl back to her island stable! Panicking and over reacting (which is something Justin excels at) Justin took the only reasonable course of action possible to get out of such a sticky situation. He boiled the old horse face down for glue. “She should have thought of that before bumming a ride,” thought Justin. “Choices have consequences.”
1. ROYAL PAIN
Halloween is the only day of the year that King Charles III gets to play dress-up. Okay, okay he plays dress up everyday. But on Halloween he gets to let his creative lizard juices flow—which is exactly why he relies on old friends like Justin Trudeau for cool costume ideas. As an expert on monetary policy and performative art, Canada’s Drama Queen knew just the look for old Chucky. He instantly suggested grease paint to black up the bad boy of Buckingham Place as George Floyd. After all reasoned Trudeau, they both make their own money out of thin air. One with the Royal Mint and the other with a Xerox machine.
