The US House of Representatives has passed a supersized foreign aid bill that is expected to be signed into law as early as next week after being rubber stamped by the Senate and President Sleepy Joe Biden.
GWU! Washington bureau chief and certified Wokespert, Glenda Manors reports that the funding bill amounts to a staggering 95 billion in total, covering a number of other pointless conflicts around the world that also have nothing to do with the US.
“There will be briefcases of cash handed off to ‘independent’ contractors for money laundering in Ukraine as well as the site of the future war with China, Taiwan,” explains Manors via Microsoft Teams.
McDonalds Monopoly
As the non-existent war on stopping illegal immigration at the southern border continues, Manors says that many Americans are wondering how the billion dollar announcement will help solve that issue.
“The government will argue that increased security worldwide ensures safety at home,” smiles Manors. She quickly adds: “That is, of course, a crock of shit. As usual, American corporations that manufacture weapons, supplies and even food, will, as always devour the money.”
Would you like fries with that?
Manors reveals that among war mongering corporations to profit will be fast food giant McDonalds, which is rumored to be introducing a new ‘one-state solutions menu’ in an attempt to “bring peace to Israel and sell more GMO garbage.”
The chain, with 225 locations in Israel, had been under fire recently, as a boycott over franchisee owners handing out free food to Israel soldiers had bombed sales. The food menu changes come as McDonalds corporate has announced it would be buying back all the locations and instituting radical changes in an attempt to stop the bleeding.
Manors says that the new food items are either Kosher and Halal, depending on which magic book menu the customer makes their unhealthy food choices around.
McDonalds New One-State Solutions Menu
- Hamasbuger on Rye with Hummus
- Extra Salty Falafel Freedom Fries
- Insurgent Shake served in collectable Iron Dome Lid Tumbler
- Baba Ganoush Ambush
- Sabich Sandwich – served with sumac special sauce
- Never get Knafeh PLO Pie
- Unforgettable Jericho dates land grab Ganoush
- Big Mac Taboon Midnight special
- Spicy Matzo Ball Kebabs
