The Mexican workers behind the secret labyrinth of tunnels under a New York City synagogue are breaking their silence over their part in what the media have dubbed, ‘Rabbiholes’.
Only GWU! has the exclusive tell-all story of how the tunnels were made by the actual laborers who dug them. The illegal workers spoke to GWU! on the condition the publication doesn’t use their real names out of fear of losing future illegal tunneling jobs.
Juan Gonzalez (not his real name) explains that he doesn’t like stereotypes, but the illegal migrant continues through a translator: “I’m not gonna say these guys were cheap. They were reallllly cheap. You know what I’m saying ese!”
The 22-year-old illegal from Tijuana says that he found out about the job from a young woman in the community who used to clean disgraced Jeffrey Epstein’s NYC home.
“She told me that some teenagers were shit at digging under their church and needed some workers. I’m like, what are they digging for, gold? I didn’t mean it as an anti-semantic thing (anti-Semitic —ed) I was just like, why the fuck are they digging tunnels? That’s messed up.”
Jew Got To Be Kidding Me
Despite his misgivings as to the legality and safety of digging unlicensed tunnels by hand, Gonzalez, a proud father of six, decided to interview for the job in hopes of providing for his family. He met with six members of Chabad-Lubavitch Hasidic movement on Christmas Eve.
“When I got there these kids were digging with their bare hands and had only filled their pockets with a bit of dirt. I mean, these guys built the pyramids? Come on bro, now I know it was aliens.”
The eager to work Gonzalez tells GWU! the Jewish teens were clearly in over their Hoiche Hats. “I could see that they needed to speed up the process so I suggested a few friends who were brought on board with the crazy scheme. I should have known better. Who asks you to come for an interview on Christmas Eve?”
One of those friends was Mario Lopez (68) (no relation to Screech’s ‘Saved By The Bell’ classmate—ed), a structural engineer from Mexico. Lopez was horrified when he reviewed the teenage architects’ digging plans.
“There were no support structures on the books and no thought put into basic safety protocols. My first act was to make sure the tunnels adhered as closely as possible to current tunnel safety specifications as possible.” Despite Lopez’s best efforts he found the migrants’ work stymied by inadequate tools and poor morale among the dig team.
“They had us using snow shovels and what’s the word? Snow slides? (toboggans—ed) as wheelbarrows. It was amateur hour, but we did the best we could.” Lopez ensured that the tunnels were a uniform 5-feet high, 20-foot-wide and beams every four feet. The experienced engineer says that there was little to no oversight on the project. “Whenever our employers were on the job site they spent more time laughing and playing around with baby toys and furniture they had us haul down there. It was all very strange, but we all just wanted to get paid.”
Holy Hole!
Lopez, Gonzalez and the rest of the team of nearly a dozen other migrants, dug and even slept in the tunnels around the clock for more than three weeks before the project came to an abrupt halt when NYC authorities stormed the Brooklyn synagogue and ordered the tunnels to be filled in with cement.
“Thankfully we were all sneaking a siesta in a nearby abandoned building when the police showed up or else we would have been arrested and then released a few hours later,” laments Gonzalez who is disappointed they didn’t finish the job they started.
“I really wanted to find out where we were digging to, and why. Also, I would have liked to have gotten paid.”
