2024 Election

Olympic Boxing Coach Confirms Imane Khelif Is a Dude!

IOC threatens country-wide suspension if Olympians expose Khelif’s Algerian nuts!!

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An Olympic boxing coach has confirmed to GWU! that Algerian women’s boxing sensation Imane Khelif is a man, while also dishing that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has threatened serious sanctions against any Olympian or coach who exposes the truth! 

Only hours before the gold medal match between Khelif and China’s Liu Yang, our insider, who has been ringside for the entire shameful display of domestic violence, has come forward with this not so shocking truth. 

“The IOC has been trying to muzzle this dire situation,” said the coach who would only reveal that he trains a biological female boxer in Africa and has known for years about Khelif’s long-dong tale. “We were told that any competitor or coach or even towel boy revealing his true gender would lead to an entire country’s suspension in the next games.”

Meaning shut up or risk having your country face disciplinary action!!!

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Let me be Frank and Beans with you

Our gender-bending truth-teller in Gay Paree verifies that he has seen Khelif stand up to urinate and even wear a jockstrap during sparring sessions to protect his family jewels. He adds that although pictures have circulated online of Khelif as a young girl, he assures GWU! readers these are fake and likely generated by AI. 

“It’s unfair to these women who have trained their whole life for this chance at a gold medal,” he says wiping a tear from his eye, over Microsoft Teams. “I’m not against transgenders, but the IOC needs to accommodate them or else it’s going to destroy women’s boxing. You just can’t have men and women competing in combat sports.”

More recently, Algeria, along with their boy wonder Khelif, have threatened to sue anyone who has harassed him online about his gender. That said, according to a GWU! legal eagle nobody should be too concerned about a lawsuit since it would be Khelif’s responsibility to prove he’s a woman, which he obviously could never do. 

The controversy began last year when the upstanding Russian-led International Boxing Association (IBA) forced Khelif to take a gender test that determined he was a man. Since then, countless pleas from the Honest Abe IBA to the Tricky Dick IOC have fallen on deaf ears. Khelif was even celebrated across social media platforms as he beat women on his quest for gold.

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“It was known among other boxers, but it took anti-woke Russia and the IBA to finally do something about it.”

Why can’t officials IOC the truth? 

The IOC, which has already exemplified a disgusting display of wokeness during the two-week event in Paris, confirmed that they base gender on an athlete’s passport and nothing else. Further, the IOC’s PR Team, made up of World Economic Forum employees, has tried to spin the story as Russian propaganda and transphobic right-wing hate speech. The IOC has done this while never denying that Khelif carries XY chromosomes—with a side of Frank and Beans below his shorts. 

“Nobody here wants to hurt Khelif. It’s just that he’s not a woman and should not be allowed to beat on women in front of the world. It sends a terrible message to young girls and boys and also makes women boxers afraid to fight.”

As Khelif gets ready to beat down another woman for a gold medal, our insider says he doubts women’s boxing can even continue. “What’s the point? Is what I’m hearing from a lot of biological female Olympic boxers.”

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