Like the return of the seasonal ‘plague’ of COVID-19 Oprah’s Favorite Things is here. The former daytime television host and current Hawaii fire sale real estate buyer has shared her hand-picked list for gifting loved ones and treating yourself during the holidays.
Are Oprah’s following items on your holiday wish list? If they are, you might want to Check da Facts!
Meta Quest Headset $499
Want to live in a perfect reality where you’re living your best life and everyone loves you? Sorry, you can’t because unlike Oprah, you’re poor. But you can live in a fake digital reality with these over-priced plastic goggles made by child slaves in China.
Shinery Radiance Wash Luxury Jewelry Cleaner and Brush Duo $44.40
Did you know that Oprah believes in magic crystals? Yeah, she does. I know what you’re thinking: magic sounds like a scam. It is. But not as much of a scam as a thing that cleans magic crystals.
CRUXGG Digital Toaster Oven with Air Frying $119.99
This out-of-the-world toaster with patented ‘heat distribution blue coating,’ will take only seconds to turn your peaceful, quaint toaster strudel into a crispy morning treat. With state-of-the-art technology developed in Israel and tested in Hawaii, USA, you’ll find your food and your politics really heating up. The only design flaw is that it will not heat up vegetables, as Oprah and her viewers don’t eat them anyway.
Brouk & Co The Capri Everyday Stripe Tote $64.00
This stylish and light travel bag tote is perfect for carrying loads of cash you’ve fleeced out of naive fans over the past 50 plus years. Oh, wait, you’re not Oprah? You can buy the bags then, but she’ll keep the cash.
