“We couldn’t be happier,” Ralph and Trudy, longtime Liberal supporters originally from Winnipeg, tell GWU! as they wait in line to cross the border back into Canada. “When Prime Minister Trudeau needs us, we’re more than happy to give up everything to be there for him,” says Ralph.
The couple, who have been living in the Sunshine State for 15 years, put their home up for sale on Sunday, and by Tuesday morning were making their way to the Great White North with all their belongings.
Snowbird Swansong
They’re not alone. Thousands of liberal snowbirds along the sunbelt are packing up and heading home; with some even accepting that they’ll sell their properties at a significant loss.
Retired grandparents, Louis and Sally who have called an Orlando trailer park home for decades felt the jab of Canadian Pride too. “Our parents stormed the beaches of Normandy,” Louis said. “We owe everything to Canada and Trudeau. We’ll be taking a bit of a financial beating buying a new home in Canada, but Canadians are used to that.”
MAID in Canada
During a wooden address to the nation last month, failed drama teacher Justin Trudeau described the 25% tariff as an attack on an ally and reused many of his COVID-19 talking points to convey the importance of fighting for Canada. From “staying home” to being “all in this together” and “doing your part” the Prime Minister—in name only—also emphasized that he will be leading the fight against what his advisers have behind the scenes dubbed: “an evil empire led by a fascist orange man.”
“From booing the American anthem to buying only Made in Canada, this is a war worth fighting,” boasts Louis, after fueling up his RV for the last time using ‘dirty’ American gas and purchasing his final Little Debbie cake from 7-11 to ‘hate eat’ on the long drive back to Newfoundland and Labrador.
“Sure it will be tough. We love Sonic’s burgers and Little Caesar’s pizza, but will we learn to live without it? We must in order for Canada to win this war.”
Along with selling their properties, other Snowbirds—along with Trudeau supporters back home—are canceling everything from Amazon and Netflix subscriptions, and will cease shopping at Costco and sipping lattes at Starbucks. Despite these global companies likely feeling zero effect from the boycott, Canadians are convinced they will get the same satisfaction from inferior and price-inflated Canadian liquor, Canadian Netflix (called CBC Gem), and price-gouging at Loblaws (a Canadian-owned grocery store with massive lineups).
Some Canadian provinces have even removed American liquor (already purchased) to show solidarity with the Liberal’s boycott.
Team Canada Division
Economists, who spoke to America’s Number One Source of Newstainment, GWU!, however, caution that Canadians shouldn’t get caught up in Trudeau’s bi-polar roller coaster, as they did in 2020. “The lower and middle classes will be hardest hit by this government’s dangerous war. From job losses, housing foreclosures and dwindling retirement savings, Canada could see itself turning into a Third-world country before the next Olympics. Trudeau and his rich friends will, of course, feel none of the impact.”
While many Canadians have vowed to fight Trump, despite the possibility of poverty, other expats aren’t buying the taxing propaganda that Trudeau is selling.
“The Canadian government has done this to themselves,” says Montreal-born and Key West resident Claude Vachon. “I left Canada after they made me feel like a racist for waving the Canadian flag, now they want me to fight for the country?”
Vachon adds that it was Trudeau who turned his back on millions of Canadians during the COVID-19 plandemic is now calling for those same people to stand next to him. “The ego on that twinkie makes Trump look shy.”
He points proudly to the “Unacceptable Fringe Minority” bumper sticker on his Tesla. “This is the same government that is planning to add a 20% carbon tax increase in April,” he laughs. “Canadians should just abandon him. It’s gone on too long.”
This Means War!!!
Trump has said that if Canada commits to securing its revolving door border, thereby stemming the flow of illegal immigrants, money laundering and illicit drugs he would nix the tariff; however, with the nation’s parliament shuttered and the Trudeau government’s resistance to addressing those concerns a quick resolution to the brewing trade war seems unlikely to party faithful.
“I believe Trudeau is doing the right thing standing up to this bully. We’ve burnt down the White House before, and byjesus we’ll do it again” snaps Louis.
