But retired US General T.B. Gentes tells America’s number one source of newstainment, GWU! that invading Canada is actually a very real and likely scenario.
“Canada has been a threat to our national security for decades,” says the former General who saw action in Vietnam and then later in Desert Storm One and its highly acclaimed sequel, WMDs. “Particularly the last few years as their connection with China and mass immigration movements from the Middle East create a serious threat to our freedom.”
Gentes claims that higher ups in the incoming Trump administration are already quietly contemplating invasion and occupation of Canada in order to secure US borders and interests. “Canada is a clear and present danger. Officials I’ve spoken to at the Pentagon and in my rural Arizona retirement community are actively wargaming how to best secure the new US borders and utilize the failed nation’s natural resources and fresh water supply.”
The State of Canada
The former GI Joe jarhead, who was present during Saddam Hussein’s capture and subsequent execution, goes on to say that Canada gets deservedly little respect from Americans, especially Trump. “It’s a socialist country that leans closer to communism,” he exclaims. “Policies like transgender rights, LGBTQIA nonsense, Sharia law, state sanctioned euthanasia, subsidized media and, of course, mass immigration have them on the USA watchlist. Canada is basically Cuba with snow.”
He also references the rogue Chinese “Weather Balloon” that floated freely over Canadian airspace in 2023 without a peep from the left wing government. “If the weak Canadian government will allow made-in-China spy balloons to freely roam then that just proves that they can’t be trusted to ensure their peoples own safety. When we invade, we will be welcomed as liberators.”
They Hate Our Freedom
General Gentes, a self-proclaimed four-star general who helped to track down Osama Bin Laden after the World Trade Center was detonated, says right-wing Americans were particularly concerned when Canada openly celebrated a literal Nazi during a recent parliament session. “We’ve done everything we could to get rid of Nazis. My father fought them with his bare hands. To see them celebrated was a kick in the ol’ keester.”
“Canada is clearly a failed state that needs saving from itself. You can see it in all aspects of the country, right down to the culture. I tried to watch their version of SNL, something called This Hour Has 22 Minutes. I was ready to MAID myself after 2 minutes.”
Pride Metal Jacket
Gentes doesn’t foresee a major war with Canada, however. He tells GWU! that according to the CIA daily briefings, which he still receives on his Yahoo! Mail account, the Canadian military is particularly weak with most of the so-called soldiers identifying as everything from females to furries. “Canada has always relied on the USA to defend them and it has invested very little in its own defence. Look at their military logo, for Pete’s sake. What the hell is that?!”
Political Maneuver
The main concern lies in Governor Trudeau, Gentes laughs, referencing Trump’s epic tweet, which lambasted the son of Fidel Castro. Trudeau, who won the last two elections with a minority of votes is one of the most unpopular leaders in Canadian history. “Perhaps a regime change would ease tension between the two countries,” General Gentes speculates.
