Elon Musk is to the Moon for Trump
“The future is going to be amazing,” declares Dark MAGAman Elon Musk. The future Secretary of Government Efficiency can’t stop tweeting for Trump and has been DJ’s biggest rocket booster throughout the campaign. Whether it’s the real facts about COVID or stealing the election, Elon has the launch codes to MEME an algorithm of truth.
Kelsey Grammer is dialed in to a Trump victory
Dr. Fraser Crane is listening to the voice of America and he has just the prescription for all of her ails (No, we’re not talking about ale despite boozy Grammer certainly liking that–ed). The sitcom star of massive hits Cheers (1982) and Fraser (1993) is on your side of the dial this election, unlike the Dems shockless jock Howard Stern.
Tucker Carlson Russian to vote Trump
There is no Putin down non-Russian agent Tucker Carlson and his non-Russian agent partner Donald Trump. The two men have followed a similar career trajectory from mainstream acceptance (loved by Whoopi Goldberg—ed) to being banned from mainstream media (hated by Whoopi Goldberg—ed) and then setting the newscycle of it. Trump knows that with Tucker in his back pocket he has a direct line to middle America via the feisty little independent journalists work. So long as Trump remembers not to sit down and crush him (he’s so tiny!—ed).
Roseanne Barr raises the Republican flag
Hilarious and tell-it-like-it is Rosanne Barr is a Forever Trumper. From the stolen election to the insane woke movement, this comedy genius behind the mega hit Roseanne (1988) and Cancel This! (2023) is pushing back on all of it for Trump. Even after being canceled from her own show, it’s clear that the only career mistake she ever made was hiring deplorable liberal snake George Clooney on her TV show in the late 80s/early 90s.
Hulk Hogan is juiced over MAGA
Trumpamaniacs are over-the-top rope over Hollywood Hogan’s real American presidential endorsement. The star of epic films like Rocky III (1982) and bad ass Rip Thomas in No Holds Barred (1989), as well as one of the most famous and beloved wrestlers of all time is running wild with his brotherly love for DJ Trump. And well, ya know something, wrestling might be fake but the Hogan–Trump tag team act is no NWO performance.
Danica Patrick is ignoring Trump’s checkered flag past
DJ Trump likes his women fast, but could he ever catch up with this super endorsement catch? Former indy car driver and super babe Danica Patrick is waving the checkered flag for DJ to take one more lap in the White House. Danica is calling a runaway victory for number 45 (soon to be number 47).
Kanye West is rhyming with orange
Artist and role model to children around the world, Kayne West has gone from the penthouse to the outhouse more times than Trump after a shift at McDonalds (those fries won’t eat themself—ed). And that’s why the two men with tastes for the finer things in life …. and saying crazy shit all the time are an unstoppable power duo. Think Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, except neither Trump nor Kanye are cat ladies. While Kanye clearly means it when he pops off for Trump there is some speculation that Kanye is hoping for a Presidential pardon to “Make Yeezy Great Again.”
Kid Rock only swings one way
Swing state Michigan’s favorite son Kid Rock has been nothing but an asset to grandpa DJ Trump. Whether it was advising Trump on North Korea and the Islamic State during his 2016 presidential term or taking a submachine gun to cases of Bud Light after Dylan Mulvaney became the garbage spokesMAN for the watered-down beverage, these days Kid Rock only has beautiful ballads with explicit lyrics to sing about the future 47. This good boy/bad boy is already making plans to perform at Trump’s inauguration party. The Epstein/Diddy list of Kamala’s celebs are not invited.
Chrisley Knows Best!
Whether it’s reality star Savannah Chrisley’s ability to select the finest orange men in America or how high to inflate the cost of waterfront property, this southern belle always crushes it in the ratings. An experienced judge of character and a good spray tan when she sees one, Savannah is bringing a little more sass and class to The Donald’s campaign—because every election needs a dash of reality drama.
RFK Jr. giving it a last-minute shot
When the Deep State tried and failed to ‘Kennedy’ Trump, the straight shooter took out a life insurance policy with RFK Jr. Don’t believe the hype, Donald didn’t pull Bobby into the campaign to help him root out the deep state or make America healthy again. He knew that by just having a Kennedy on stage with him he was statistically less likely to be assassinated. Added to that, Trump has vowed that on Day One he’ll be unsealing the heavily redacted JFK papers.
Dana White won’t submit to Harris-Walz
Fight! Fight! Fight! UFC musclehead Dana White heroically came out swinging for the embattled Trump when a liberal coward tried to KO the champ of the people. White remembers that Trump supported his ultimate fighting league when it was just a couple of hobos headlocking Joe Rogan. Despite what the cheating Dems may think, you can’t buy that kind of loyalty. That includes Harris heels attempting to ring the bell with a $10 million last-minute sub-in of Beyonce.
Harrison Butker is kicking the Dems to the curb
Super Bowl champion, Kansas City Chiefs kicker, and teammate to Taylor Swift’s beard Travis Kelce, Harrison Butker, may be standing alone in the locker room after his endorsement of Trump’s commitment to being the “most pro-life president.” As a devout Catholic, Butker believes that protecting the unborn is a crucial issue and that Trump’s stance aligns with his own values. And while it’s typically a long shot to see pro-athletes endorse a candidate that seems to be changing after AIDS patient zero Magic Johnson came out to support Harris-Walz.
Scott Baio is in charge of change
America’s favorite teen heartthrob Scott Baio from Happy Days (1977) and Charles in Charge (1984), is calling for a four year timeout on the Dems starting on November 5th. The outspoken critic of everything Biden-Harris has even used the hashtag “Please #VoteHerOut” on his social channels. Baio has also publicly criticized his former Happy Days co-stars, including TDS sufferers Ron Howard and John “Uncle Jessie” Stamos, for staging a reunion to raise money for the Wisconsin Democratic Party (was Diddy invited to the party?—ed). Yup, the unforgettable Bob Loblaw from Arrested Development (2003) viewed this as an attempt to promote “anti-American socialism” and expressed disappointment that his mentally ill colleagues would use a “classic show like Happy Days” for such a disgusting purpose.
Pushed or jumped off a Hinchcliffe?
When comedy superstar Kill Tony podcast host Tony Hinchcliffe jokingly called Puerto Rico a “floating island of garbage,” the usual cast of idiots with no sense of humor came stumbling out of their Kamala caves. How dumb is she Dem, AOC took particular offense to Hinchcliffe’s other factual remark that “Latinos love making babies.” (Is chubster Cortez preggers or just having a food baby?—ed). The MSM had already been calling the Madison Square Garden Trump rally, where Hinchcliffe made the jokes, reminiscent of a NAZI rally that took place there, some 80 plus years ago. Like they say on the internet, if you have to mention Hitler in your argument, you’ve already lost.
