Since Elon Musk took over Twitter, celebrities you’ve never heard of are publicly stating that they’re leaving the social media platform.
But from the moment that the billionaire inventor showed up at Twitter head office carrying a kitchen sink “I’m leaving Twitter” has become the new “I’m moving to Canada.” This is not an airport, there’s no need to announce your departure.
Here’s just some of the celebs that are threatening to take their ball and leave twitter. Oh, no. Please stop. Do not go.
When @WhoopiGoldberg told the The View’s audience: “as of tonight, I’m done with Twitter,” said the Hollywood star of Theodore Rex, House Party II and soon to be released Sister Act 3: Kicking the Habit. Fans of the Whoopi were shocked to find that the actress … was still alive.
“I’m going to get out, and if it settles down and I feel more comfortable, maybe I’ll come back,” shared Whoopi with no one in particular as she was no longer on Twitter.
Standing tall, (freakishly, freakishly tall) actor Jameela Jamil also quit Twitter, writing: “One good thing about Elon buying twitter is that I will *FINALLY* leave and stop being a complete menace to society on here. So it’s win win for you all really.” We’re fine with the short notice, ya freak!
The king of nighmares appeared horrified to pay for a Blue Checkmark telling his legion of brain dead zombie fans, “$20 a month to keep my blue check? Fuck that, they should pay me. If that gets instituted, I’m gone like Enron.” Maybe now that he’s leaving Twitter where he pens daily anti-Trump novellas, he’ll finally get back to writing one mildly good book every four years instead of one mediocre every year.
The sidekick to Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter totally bogeyed on Twitter. Not excellent dude. Most heinous position. Get in your time machine and go back to when you weren’t a total dickwad, dude!
Grammy-winning singer Sara Bareilles added: “Welp. It’s been fun Twitter. I’m out. See you on other platforms, peeps. Sorry, this one’s just not for me.”
Bye bye Bareilles. Don’t let the ratio hit you on the way out! There’s no word on Bareilles moving over to upstart Left wing twitter copycat site Mastodon. But if she does, you’ll never hear about it, even if you’re on Mastodon because no one understands how it works.
Singer Toni Braxton (who was apparently famous in the 90s) wrote: “I’m shocked and appalled at some of the ‘free speech’ I’ve seen on this platform since its acquisition.
“Hate speech under the veil of ‘free speech’ is unacceptable; therefore I am choosing to stay off Twitter as it is no longer a safe space for myself, my sons and other POC.”
Only the type of person who refers to her children as “POCs” would think that more freedom of speech is bad.
The co-creator of Billions, Brian Koppelman, wrote: “Y’all’s, for real, come find me over on Instagram and the Tok. Gonna really try to take a breather from here for a minute or a month come deal close time.” We can think of billions of reasons for you to hold your breath, Brian. Also, best of luck on the Chinese state-funded social media site TikTok, we’re sure that’s the perfect echo chamber for you.
“I’m sorry but I cannot be a part of anything owned by #ELONMUSK and his cabal of deplorables. I’ll stay on for a couple of days so that we can say goodbye but after that I’m gone.”
Star Trek actress from the late 1980s Marina Sirtis dematerialized from Twitter at light speed telling the many people who asked who she was to ‘google her’. Sorry doll, you might have been a tasty bit of space trash once but no one’s ‘googled’ you for 30 light years.
Musk hasn’t said what previously banned accounts he might reinstate or what the process will look like. Some banned or suspended accounts that might be back on the social media network include former senior Trump administration and campaign figure Steve Bannon; Alex Jones of Infowars; and Project Veritas founder James O’Keefe.
Fierce lover of freedom, loud explosions and louder women DJ Johnny Jock is anything but a faceless voice of radio. Having appeared in over 400 Canadian television programs (as a background performer) over the past 20 years, Jock is a star on the rise. Also loves Pizza!!!