Moronic Canadian MPs, including Justin Trudeau, are running for cover after unknowingly applauding Yaroslav Hunka, a Ukrainian World War II veteran … who served in the 14th Waffen Grenadier Division of the SS (Ooops!—ed).
They now claim that it’s not their fault their well-intentioned and brave virtue-signaling backfired so spectacularly on them. How were they to know the 98-year-old was a literal Nazi? The man is Ukrainian, after all (And the governing Liberals did burn all the history books—ed)!
It’s even more embarrassing for Trudeau, who has been quick to slap labels like “far-right” and “racist” on anyone who challenged his “leadership decisions” during COVID. The same man who equated truckers honking for freedom with far-right fascism LITERALLY CHEERED ON A FORMER MEMBER OF THE SS IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS! But wait! Perhaps Hunka merely had everyone bamboozled. Experts agree that social media did not exist back in the 1940s, so the Canadian government could never have done a thorough background check on Hunka (i.e. dig up old anti-semetic joke tweets made by him or selfies with Hitler at Auschwitz as Goebbels cheekily photobombs behind them—ed).
The GWU! Wokesperts™ and I have done some much needed sleuthing on this evil coffin-dodger however, and it’s beyond shocking that it’s taken him this long to get canceled. Turns out, he is a far-right chud and matches up exactly with the modern understanding of what exactly a Nazi is, he’s just a master at racing to cover up his tracks!
Five alt-right roles Hunka may have played a pivotal part in without us knowing:
5. George Floyd’s murder
New cellphone footage has emerged showing Hunka was present at George Floyd’s murder. He and Derek Chauvin took turns kneeling on Floyd’s neck and force-feeding him lethal amounts of fentanyl. The former Nazi proved to be wily in his old age by quickly fleeing the scene before a crowd could gather (his walking frame has flames painted on it, making it go faster!—ed).
4. The Bud Light and Target boycotts
Hunka’s now-deleted OnlyFans account “Hunka, Hunka Burning Love” mostly consisted of him performing various covers of classic karaoke songs, nude. However, in between belting out wholesome, naked toothless old man renditions of “Pretty Woman” and “Pumped Up Kicks,” videos containing anti-Trans content and COVID misinformation were also being uploaded at a rapidly increasing rate. Just as a video of him shooting Bud Light bottles with his Luger (while ironically dressed in a tuck-friendly bathing suit from Target—ed) started to go viral, earning him an invitation to The Critical Drinker’s Open Bar podcast, Hunka (for reasons unknown—ed) went dark and deleted his entire account.
3. GamerGate
Several conspiratorial and deeply misogynistic blog posts published by Hunka, an avid Wolfenstein player, were shared in the gaming sphere during the mid 2010s, sparking off GamerGate and leading to the harassment of girl gamers and female game journalists everywhere. Non-consensual teabagging in games like Halo rose by 69%! As he used an alias and a VPN at the time, Hunka’s pivotal role in spearheading the on-going culture war was never uncovered… until now, that is (You’re welcome.—ed).
2. Ottawa Freedom Convoy
Yes, Hunka was honking with the truckers and bouncing on their bouncy castles during the Freedom Convoy in Ottawa, and all right under Trudeau’s pre-divorce beard. Hunka (more like Honka, amirite—ed) is as anti-vax as he is racist, and wants to personally kill your BIPOC Grandma. He drove the biggest and loudest gas-guzzling behemoth in the whole convoy, leading the charge into Ottawa like Immortan Joe from Mad Max: Fury Road (The one with Charlize Theron playing Mary Sue in it—ed). His thunderous honks have left many Ottawans afflicted with PTSD-PHS (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder-Phantom Honking Syndrome).
1. January 6th
Surveillance footage places Hunka at the Capitol on January 6th, Nazi saluting the Qanon shaman with one hand while smearing feces over Nancy Pelosi’s office walls with the other. The lithe and limber 98-year-old was too much to handle for the Capitol guards as he scaled the steps and snaked his way around the velvet roped maze inside, his face partially obscured from cameras by the six MAGA caps he had on his head. Lip readers GWU! consulted to review the footage attest that a grinning and wild-eyed Hunka proudly exclaimed to his fellow insurrectionists: “This is exactly how we got the Führer into power.”
