A wacky new Williamsburg restaurant in Brooklyn is transitioning its organic menu to align with the UN’s insane so-called environmental sustainability goals of Agenda 21. A former employee of the restaurant, Soylent Greens, is spilling the literal maggot beans in this exclusive GWU! tell all!
Jason Mallary was a server at the family owned New York eatery for four years under its previous name, Greene Family Restaurant, and continued to work under the new shadowy hipster lead management and bizarre name change until he was fired for criticizing the ‘sustainability’ menu.
“This used to be a mom and pop run organic restaurant but with people no longer eating out thanks to COVID restrictions and inflation the owners had to sell. A cabal of hipsters who had their own weird ideas about what shit people would stomach took over,” says Mallary.
Agenda 21 is a United Nations led plan to achieve ‘global sustainability’ and ‘save the planet’ (from the people who live on it—ed). This will be achieved by itemizing all land, water, minerals, plants, animals, construction, means of production, energy, education, information, and human beings in the world. Critics (like this website—ed) argue the entire thing is nothing more than a controlled demolition of local democracy and human freedom with big government and big business wrapping themselves in virtue while gaining more power for themselves. Oh, and there’s bug eating.
The ‘climate neutral’ restaurant is set to have its reopening sometime in the fall but Mallary is sharing a sampling of the secret Agenda 21 themed menu exclusively with GWU! readers.
GRETA’S GRUBS
“Hipsters love the whole ‘irony’ thing” says the 21-year-old former table jockey. “But this dude doesn’t get it though, he’s bought into the whole own nothing and be happy fairytale.”
As an example, Mallary cites Soylent Greens seemingly wholesome dish of a sunny side up ‘eggless egg’ is anything but what it seems to be. “Like Greta Thunberg, who the recipe is named after, this dish is full of deception and bugs, literally!”
The unemployed server argues that while appearing to be a bright and sunny fresh start to a new dawn like Greta Thunberg pretends to be, this UN flavored comfort food looks like one thing but tastes like something else! “It’s so jam packed with mealworms and recycled junk science that you won’t be able to protest the MSM’s force feeding of this climatescam classic,” he laughs.
THE 15-MINUTE SANDWICH
“This sandwich is supposed to be locally sourced but it’s basically two slices of baloney from Geneva,” Mallary hams up to GWU!
He mocks that the ingredients of a 15-Minute Sandwich are actually bike lanes, road gates, surveillance cameras, and communism. “Oh, and there’s the optional add ons: Soy meat, soy tofu, soy and soy.”
As GWU! readers know the exact layering of a 15-Minute Sandwich can vary depending on one’s allergy tolerance to bullshit.
DECOLONIZED ANTS
Overthrowing the shackles of colonialism never tasted so bad with this Indigenous recipe handed down from the Elders, says Mallary.
“This one is really gross. It’s ants. Yeah, I know.”
Mallary says that while the ants are fried and served with overpriced frozen GMO veggies he suggests this more likely recipe:
“Force ants … or substitute humans, whatever, through the sieve of late-stage capitalism into a mash perfect for all your proletariat malnutritional needs. Add no seasoning of any kind, as none will be available for you, slave.”
Much like life under Agenda 21, the restaurant menu is ultimately unsustainable, predicts Mallary but still worries if this really is the future of dining and indeed, humanity. “Even if you bring your own bugs to sprinkle on your food, you’ll still end up paying for it.”
Soylent Greens is set to open later this month, a full seven years ahead of its original planned launch date of 2030.
-with files from Digital Reporter Rita Junior
