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Toby P. Gelman

From his home in Moscow, Ohio, syndicated newspaper columnist, podcaster, father of six, husband to Greta, and author of the Johnny Jock PI series, Toby P. Gelman fights for truth, justice, and the American way. #1776!

Rita Hayworth and Toby Gelman’s Unvaccinated Redemption

I’m more busted up than Rita Hayworth hanging on the wall of a dirty prison cell over the way me and my unvaccinated pals...

Je Suis Kyrie Irving, Says Boomer

The other night, during a bout of insomnia, I was watching Rambo III— the 80s film classic. I was impressed by the acting, the...

Just Stop Oil Climate Activists Are Painting a Horrible Picture, Says Boomer

I’m more diced up than Van Gogh’s earlobe over the way the climate change cuckoos are destroying priceless works of art with their lunch...

Cancelling Thanksgiving and Other Colonial Holidays

I’m madder than a dirty bird in need of a clean over the way the woke are washing us of our days of significance,...

It’s Time to Rewrite the Woke Story

I’m more confused than a prosthetic breast resting on the chest of male woodworking teacher Kyla Lemieux about the way the woke are saying...