Out of this world climate warriors, Ukrainian grifters, and high-priced hookers is basically the Davos’ World Economic Forum’s biome. But I digress, I came to the snowy Alp village for one reason: To give that schmaltzy kraut Klaus Schwab a piece of my mind!
Ecocide Genocide
Take a seat on the back of the bus Gaza warriors, because in Davos everybody is talking about Ecocide. This buzzword, which should hit the mainstream news by noon next Wednesday, is basically saying that both farming and fishing are an act of climate genocide. The WEF eunuchs paraded out all kinds of wackos for this event (Sounds like Cirque du Insane—ed). In other news, the talk titled Gaza: Genocide or Beachfront Property Firesale was moved to Microsoft Teams, so I missed it because the Spengler Inn has shoddy wifi.
Franc, Grifters
The president of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky, is here begging for money (don’t forget to tip your dictator—ed). It began with the green pajama boy holding a talk, which I attended, (hoping to see Klaus), and basically ended with Zelensky passing around the hat like a street musician, singing the same song that any spare change would help. I guess the honey jar of royalties from that Eastern European version of Paddington is empty.
Word on the snowy streets of Davos is that Klaus is done with micro-toy soldier Zelensky and we may see a Saddam Hussein part deux in the works. Yup, Zelensky and Biden are on Big K’s naughty list, while Trudeau and Macron are still on his lap. I can’t wait to tell that kraut off. I heard he would be at the talk: 7.5 Minute Cities by 2030, but he wasn’t.
The Oldest and Most Expensive Profession in Davos
Although there are many things WEF guests couldn’t agree on—such as: does Javier Milei wear a wig; is a literal witch blowing us the best way to start this thing; and does my Davos’ chair make my butt look big— they did find common ground on inflation.
WEF attendees were shocked to discover that a hooker costs $4,400 euros for the night! I’m told that this isn’t much of a deterrent to the hedonistic after-hours scheduling of our elite overlords as it’s all being charged to the Blackrock company card. I met an investment broker who offered to buy me one, but of course I said no. I have a wife of 38 years who I call every night before bed. It’s somewhat ironic as the Spengler Inn is basically a low end brothel with crummy wifi. The walls in here have ears and they’re telling me that Klaus likes his hookers genderless, which is more expensive especially when you factor in the sex-change rate.
Toby’s coverage of the World Economic Forum continues …
