Betting odds are that 2024 will be one of the wildest years for political upset. GWU!’s resident Extreme Sports/Geopolitical expert, Johnny Jock esq. gambles that the hits and the misses will lead to some unexpected victories and crushing defeats.  

5. Tulsi Gabbard jumps the shark of Trump ticket

Former Democrat freethinker from Hawaii Tulsi Gabbard has positioned herself as an outsider in recent years. After the ex-Democrat congresswoman declared her independence from the political machine it’s an open secret that Trump’s team has been hunting this Hawaiian hottie to hula out Orangeman. The only question: is Gabbard open to being colonized by MAGA?

4. Vivek gets deported after doing all the hard work

The hard working first-generation immigrant Vivek Ramaswamy had always believed that hard work leads to the American Dream. That’s why he took all the slings and arrows of the Republican Party’s touchy 3rd rail positions on immigration, military spending, and the Deep State.

As a reward for his efforts to mop the floor with establishment candidates like Nikki Haley, the same establishment shoved him out of the race for Presidential nominee and painted him as an extremist Trumper. Instead of cleaning up Washington, Ramaswamy will be lucky if he can get a job pushing a broom in a Republican restroom. 

3. Michelle Obama done Biden time and becomes Newsom’s running mate

Michelle will be the ‘surprise’ bottom of the ‘unexpected’ Gavin Newsom ticket. When Governor Newsom invariably takes over from Biden (who will retire with ‘zero health problems!’), Michelle will ‘reluctantly’ be drafted into service to bridge the gap of the vote rich communities of Obama fangirls, Blacks, and transgender women (biological males—ed).  

2. Just in time, Trudeau Declares He’s Gay

(which will be about as truthful as him being vaccinated—ed).

As the actual people in charge of communist Canada scramble to maintain control, they will play the sympathy card for the PM who’s been the source of Liberal Party low-polling butt hurt. Sure, Canadians always knew Trudeau was fake and gay, but now they’ll be homophobes if they say anything about the sunny ways of Sodomy.

The Liberals will STILL lose to ‘Appleman’ opposition leader Pierre Poilievre in an early April election. The game will end when when socialist government coalition partner Jagmeet Singh pulls the butt plug on the union, realizing he can no longer f*ck Trudeau.

1. The US gets four year ticket to the Michael Obama / Taylor Swift ERA’s of the presidency

Michelle comes out as Michael—America’s first transgender female candidate for Prez. Dems predict this the perfect strategy to appeal to all 72 genders. In an attempt to further balance the ticket out, Michael will pick ‘teenage’ 34-year-old trans pop star Taylor Swift as VP.

It just goes to show you that as tools of the media and the corrupt establishment, ‘The Man’ will truly do anything to ‘cock the vote!’