The governing Liberal Party is currently in the midst of a leadership campaign that will see the winner crowned the de facto Prime Minister, once Trudeau officially steps down. The contest is open to anyone, Canadian or not, provided they file their nomination papers with the hefty fee of $350,000.
Mark an X for Musk
One Liberal Party official, who spoke to America’s Number 1 Newstainment source, GWU! on the condition of anonymity, says that her party has heard about Musk’s interest through various X company back channels and fears that the “alt-right spaceman on a mission to Mars” will hijack Canadian democracy.
“Everything is a game to this autistic Adolf loving buffoon,” rants our party insider.
A former student of Canada’s Queen’s University, Musk has been an outspoken critic of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his far-left government, calling the leader an “insufferable fool” and echoing President Donald Trump’s taunt that Trudeau is the ‘Governor of America’s 51st State.’ Musk, a trusted advisor to Trump was recently spotted with Trudeau at the Mar-a-Lago resort where guests reportedly saw the two discussing tariffs and dancing to the BLT+ anthem “YMCA.”
Party in the USA
“We’ve heard that Musk plans on hijacking the leadership race and using his right-wing disinformation platform X to steal the vote from rightful and actual outsiders who will bring about real change,” screeches our insider over Microsoft Teams.
“You know, outsiders like former Deputy PM Chrystia Freeland, and WEF central banker Mark Carney.”
The political hack goes on to breathlessly detail Musk’s political power play worrying that the ‘big-tech oligarch’ will bring in American conservative influencers like Charlie Kirk, Tucker Carlson and Canadian in-exile Jordan Peterson to assist him in overthrowing the Canadian government through an election.
She says that his goal is as despicable as it is sneaky.
“The word is that as soon as he wins the leadership he will call an election.”
TOO MUCH WINNING
But Musk isn’t planning on campaigning for a Liberal victory, she confides.
“Musk will spend the entire campaign endorsing Pierre Poilievre (the socialist countries Conservative opposition leader—ed) and trashing his own party.”
A ‘X’ programmer said to be close to Musk tells GWU! that this is the first he’s heard of the political rumors and isn’t sure if Musk was behind the hilarious troll.
“It sounds like something he would do, actually!”
Elon’s online pal riffs over X DMs with GWU! that his South African born boss could even push the prank further by maxing out Liberal campaign funds and exhausting party coffers on pointless extravagances.
“It would be like, Brewster’s Millions! But updated and not woke. Great movie. One of Elon’s favorites.”
Out of this World Political Interference
Although wildly popular with everyday Canadians, Musk is viewed with disdain by the left-wing political elite of the country. One obscure member of the Canadian parliament from the socialist New Democrat party recently called for Musk to be investigated for election interference.
“He’s formed alliances with right-wing populist leaders, amplified extremist influencers and spread hate disinformation towards marginal groups,” wrote MP Charlie Angus in a Karen-style letter to voting officials at Elections Canada. The letter overlooks the fact that Elon is legally a Canadian citizen.
Angus also cites concerns of Musk unfairly using his immense fortune and celebrity clout to sway the electorate. With an estimated net worth of $426 billion, Musk’s sphere of influence includes everyone from politicians like President Trump and 80s TV sit-com star ALF.
Social Media Campaign
Elon’s little bird from X goes on to hilariously improv other ways that Musk could make Canada great again. He cheekily suggests that Musk:
- Make Canada the 51st US State
- Rename Mount Trudeau to Mount Musk
- Defund the CBC and move StarLink into it’s Toronto broadcast headquarters
- Pass legislation banning anti-freedom of speech
- Replace Tim Hortons workers with made in India AI robots (who would notice the difference—ed)
- Rename DEI initiatives to stand for Didn’t Earn It and remove all federal funding
- Cancel all Covid MRN vaccine procurement orders and instead order a gender reveal of Dr. Theresa Tam
The frightened Liberal party politico says backroom party bigwigs are worried that Elon’s final act as leader would be to simply dissolve the Liberal Party and then fly back to DC to work at DOGE.
With a final whisper she mumbles to GWU! with a tear in her eye: “Now that’s government efficiency, I guess.”
