Letter to the Editor
Dear Karen and Kevin
I couldn’t believe the news when Facebook’s founder, Mark Zuckerberg, fired all his fact-checkers last week. Fact-checking on Facebook is one of the reasons my wife and I trusted the site. It was a reliable source of information during the pandemic, offering education on vaccines while shutting down right-wing lunatics and Russian propaganda.
After this decision, I vowed never to return to the echo chamber platform, which is why I’m now on Blue Sky.
But my wife is a different story. She continues to ride the Facebook train of misinformation and is bringing all these crazy stories to the dinner table, like that the LA Fires were because of “arson,” Climate change is a “scam,” and vaccines cause “autism.”
I’m not sure what to do, I’ve considered canceling our Internet, but then what about Blue Sky and Netflix? Why did Zuck turn to the dark side?
Terrible Web in Tallahassee
Dear TWIT,
If I had a social credit for every time I heard about a family being torn apart by right-wing Social Media policies, I’d be the king of Beijing. LOL!
Like you, my wife Karen and I left X months ago, despite popping in a few times every hour to confirm our bias that it’s a cesspool of hate. And now Facebook is just the same.
The good news is that your wife can be saved. First off, there is very little evidence that the LA residential fires, along with the Canadian forest fires in 2023, were deliberately set by liberal arsonists. In fact, according to Blue Sky and Mastodon any evidence, including satellite imagery, is likely generated by evil AI and bad actors. Like I always tell Karen, anything that we don’t understand is caused by Climate Change. All that is to say, TWIT, is that when you don’t like what one platform is saying then just change platforms.
A few months ago, for example, Karen wanted to spice things up in the bedroom, but it made me feel triggered, even after implementing a safe word, (Fact check). I suggested that she instead find a supplementary partner who would allow her to fulfill her make-believe fantasy. I feel the same way about social media. Ever since Zucker-burger moved to fire his slightly left-leaning fact checkers and replace them with so-called Community Notes, I decided, like you, that it was no longer a safe space for me. I suggest the only way to save your wife is to allow her room to exercise her demons by experimenting with even worse alternative media platforms such as shadow-banned Reddit subs or the No Agenda show ‘Troll Room.’
Kevin
Hello TWIT,
First of all, let me compliment your bravery for leaving Facebook and post-bomb your wife for being a Fascist who is collaborating with the enemy. Facebook used to be the place you could send your illiterate BIPOC grandma for trustworthy CDC-approved vaccine information, but since Fucker-burg changed his hair and T-shirt algorithm it is now the exact opposite.
In a calculated bid to attract a new generation of sucker chuds to his scam site, curly-haired Mark has revealed his true operating system. And make no mistake, it runs on hate. This corporate chameleon has gone so far as to rebrand Facebook by appearing on the Fear Factor podcast, hosted by horse-paste enthusiast Joe Rogan. On this fringe podcast, he explained how the moderation changes were in response to government censorship ‘forced’ on Facebook during the pandemic. Uhm, hello, how else do you expect the government to get its message out? Is this moron proposing that ‘freedom of speech’ will trump (ick, Trump) misinformation? Giving people the freedom to think for themselves has never worked! It’s like when I ordered my partner Kevin to watch my boyfriend and I feed each other spaghetti with our toes. Did he want to? Community Note: No. Did I make him, thus strengthening our partnership? Fact Check: Yes.
My personally peer-reviewed and scientific advice to you is to wash your wife’s toes free of the zucky toe jam of Facebook and forcefully insert macaroni in between her foot digits until she unfriends the new face of misinformation with a perm.
Karen
