Friends, The Office and Seinfeld Getting Woke Makeovers

Is Larry David Rewriting Seinfeld? This is CJ Byner checking in to Check da facts! With all the mis- and dis-information online it can be hard to distinguish the truth between fact and fiction...

Mainstream content creators are discovering that TV shows popular 20 years ago are not aging well in today’s insane diversity, equity, and inclusion entertainment climate. 

Friends, The Office, Gilligan’s Island, The Jeffersons and even Larry David’s Seinfeld are being lambasted for their lack of inclusivity. Everything from all-white casts to homophobic and transphobic (is that even a thing—ed) gags to claiming that there are only two genders, are some of the many complaints being voiced by concerned viewers seeing the shows for the first time. 

“The backlash has come since most of these shows are now available on streaming platforms,” says GWU! TV critic Johnny Jock esq. He explains that the new access means these programs have a whole new audience of mostly brainwashed, woke millennials.  “And that’s causing production houses to splice and dice and rewrite clips. They’re even looking at using AI software to appeal to their new BLT+ snowflake fanbase.” 

AI edits being considered: 

Friends

After believing that he’s a woman, Joey begins to take puberty blockers. When Ross, a so-called scientist, informs Joey that he’s already gone through puberty Joey worries that he’ll never be a real woman. Chaos and hilarity ensues.  

The Office

Realizing that there are only two Black men at Dunder Mifflin, Jim decides to identify as African American. Jim makes the race swap after learning that Pam, confided to the documentary camera crew: “once you go Black you never go back.” Keeping her word, Pam dumps Jim to become baby mama to warehouse manager Daryl.

Gilligan’s Island

When a box of seeds washes up on the island the castaways set to work making a vegetable garden. Little do they know that Gilligan had used the top of the box marked ‘GMO seeds Made in Wuhan, China’ to make a stool. Gillllligaaaannn! The Skipper transforms into a woman, the millionaire and his wife die, Ginger and Mary Ann mutate into bats, and the Professor comes down with Down syndrome. Will Gilligan, the only person on the island who doesn’t eat vegetables, be able to save his friends and then not be murdered by them?  

The Jeffersons

After the death of drug addict George Floyd at the hands of the Minneapolis police department (I demand a retrial—ed), the Jeffersons begin to question their desire to “move on up to the east side.” In an effort to support Floyd, George and Louise decide to use their kids’ college savings to fund a race war led by their housekeeper Florence, who also moonlights for ANTIFA. 

Seinfeld

When Jerry and George find a Make America Great Again hat in Kramer’s apartment, they plot to get Kramer evicted from the rent-controlled building. The resettlement of Kramer leads to a great replacement of a group of “war” refugees from Ukraine and Gaza, who borrow and then blow all of Jerry’s comedy earnings on imported Chinese gum. 

“Even the laugh track can’t muster a chuckle at these bombs,” laments Jock. 

Jock adds that viewers needn’t worry, even if streaming sites make these changes viewers can still find the original episodes on illegal Russian Bittorrent sites. Hail Putin and Check da Facts!!!

Plus: Check out GWU!’s leaked list of reworked classics gone Woke.