After a brief period of intense soul searching, I have finally decided on what flag I’ll be putting in my X bio. It seems the vast majority of my LGBTQIAP+ allies and leftist comrades have thrown their full support behind Palestine, so I will too!
Seeing my former friends Osbourne-Spencer Maxwell-Silverspoon III and Tarquin get ousted, publicly shamed and peacefully assaulted for their wrongthink beliefs only hastened my brave decision to join the right side of history in this terrible conflict that has nothing to do with me.
NON-VIOLENT POLITICAL ACTION IN SUPPORT OF VIOLENT TERRORIST ACTION
I’ve been taking paragliding lessons, reading the Quran on my Kindle, and practicing my “Allahu Akbars!” in preparation for the next mostly peaceful protest, which is scheduled for November 11th. Remembrance Day!
For those too enlightened and progressive to waste precious time and brainspace that could be better spent consuming TikToks on some cringe, outdated 19th century construct, Remembrance Day is basically a day for boomers to pay tribute to a bunch of dead soldiers. A day for old White men that they never knew who sit in their entitled fully paid for homes and reminisce about the “good old days.” Basically, it’s memberberries for colonizers.
ANTI-WAR MARCH FOR WAR
I’m absolutely giddy with anticipation for what is being called the Million Muslim March. I can’t wait to get into spirited, lively and constructive debates with Nazi Zionist scum about who started this mess in the first place, the alleged existence of hostages, the meaning of Jihad, and whether or not babies were beheaded, simply murdered or made up altogether by warmongering Jews.
Moonbeam has made several “Queers for Palestine” placards for us to proudly wave about alongside our Muslim brothers, sisters and assorted Enbies as we all chant “From the river to the sea, we’re as queer as can be!”.
There are going to be a lot of vulnerable boomers in attendance (mostly far-right gammons), and even though I profess to hate them with every fiber of my being because they voted for Trump, I would really hate to see them get COVID, which is a literal death sentence for them as they are unvaccinated. I’m also thinking of the sickly, marginalized, immunocompromised folx (seven times boosted) in our ranks, of which there are many. Please follow the commendable example set by our Islamic comrades (mainly the womxn) and mask the fuck up.
The last thing we need is a COVID surge spoiling the festivities. There’s no reason we can’t all enjoy the Remembrance Day celebrations. Tensions are understandably high right now, and a COVID outbreak could kick things right off. In my mind’s eye I can see us all – veterans, LGBTQIAP+ folx, Palestinians, Israelis, the BIPOC furry community, kiddies, paraplegic Eskimos – sitting down peacefully at a halal, kosher, vegan friendly picnic on what the Colonizers call ‘Armistice Day’, embracing Communism, engaging in friendly discourse and sharing good natured laughs at no one’s expense. Why can’t this Utopian, totally feasible, soy-filled fever dream be a reality? Because of far-right bastards, that’s why.
Don’t let the fringe minority of terminally online Islamophobic anti-Semites dissuade you from attending your local Free Palestine demonstration this Remembrance Day. Despite what some poppy clutchers claim, it is not disrespectful to use this day to demand an immediate ceasefire. If anything, it’s the exact opposite. I can’t think of anything more noble or appropriate.
I implore you all to let your voices be heard during the two minutes of silence. Remember, silence is violence. The dead can’t hear your silent prayers, but the folx in Gaza WILL hear our halalalalalalalaaaaa for peace. Honestly, why are we even still pressing F to pay respect to a bunch of dead jarheads who were probably massive bigots anyway, when we could be focusing on stopping the illegal genocide of Palestinians, trans folx, and Palestinian trans folx.
MOSTLY PEACEFUL BLOWBACK
I for one am not worried about any possible consequences. The police will wisely cower in terror from the marginalized mob and rightfully arrest the far-right fascists who dare try and disrupt our humble protest. We, however, will be enjoying the halal vegan buffet Yiffer has cooked up for us; laughing with our mouths full as the truncheons come crashing down on the heads of poppy wearing, nationalistic boomer gammon veterans.
The most impressive aspect of all this has been the extremely prompt and explosive manner in which the Islamic community has been able to organize and martial their forces across the Western world to oppose this tyranny. It is a testament to the strengths of diversity, inclusivity and unfettered immigration. I never even noticed how culturally vibrant my neighborhood had become until Israel started bombing the shit out of Gaza!
REMEMBERING TO NEVER FORGET
When you really actually think about it, Remembrance Day is the perfect occasion to protest a war. It’s poetic; and think of the coverage! The optics of this will be brilliant. Trust me. This will really help our cause. We need maximum awareness; most folx aren’t even aware there’s a war going on! We should be having a live feed of the conflict beamed directly into our heads so we can personally experience the horror and carnage ourselves! The mainstream media is doing the absolute bare minimum required with its nonstop, 24/7 coverage.
