With Joe Biden’s transition from pretending to be president—to being protected by a Hollywood rather a secret service agent, critics are speculating what Biden’s next project might be.
Find out what development deals Biden is rumored to be negotiating in order to continue his criminal actions and propagandizing as the new grifter-in-chief with our speculating gossip columnist to the stars, Clammy J. Byner.
Bad Fellas
Step into the shady mafia underworld of the Biden mafia clan in this Al Pachino produced criminal enterprise of a reality show. Watch lovable Don Joe Biden mix up his handgun with his flip phone, while his anointed criminal heir Hunter hustles his “art,” Jill micromanages the chaos, and Joe’s siblings—Frank, Valerie, and James—pretend to leave the family business after receiving Don Joe’s pardon.
This dysfunctional dynasty delivers drama, questionable ethics, and endless federal corruption charges. Will the Biden Family dodge the long arm of Washington’s new police chief Donald Trump—or will their past finally catch up?
Star Trek: The Obamaverse
In a galaxy far, far away, former Presidents Barack Obama and Joe Biden team up as an unlikely space explorer duo aboard the USS Hope and Change. Their mission: save Earth from the Glamazon Empire, led by the fierce Mutoid Michelle ‘Mike’ Obama and her army of glitter-clad, shapeshifting transvestite mutants.
In this Bad Robot produced space disaster Obama strategizes with cool precision while Biden fumbles with alien tech, charming hostile species with his trademark buffoonery. Together, they navigate wormholes, diplomatic crises, and Biden’s unfortunate habit of always shoving his space boot in his mouth and setting off intergalactic wars. Can they save humanity—or will Big Mike’s bulging biceps encircle the cosmos?
Sleeping with Joe
Join former President Joe Biden on his ASMR bedtime podcast as he stumbles and mumbles through alternative history lessons, debates dead politicians, and occasionally remembers his guest’s name! Featuring slumber party antics with guest host swamp creatures who also share a love of naptime such as Nancy Pelosi and Mitch McConnell … Sleepy? You will be.
DEI: Diversity, Equity and Incompetence
Mixed-race couple Joe Biden and Kamala Harris run DEI & Co., a Chevy Chase, Maryland job agency promoting diversity—when they’re not bickering over who gets to wear the pants in the family!
This CBS optioned multi-camera 1980s-flavored sitcom throwback explores Joe’s narcolepsy and Kamala’s awkward word salad mix-ups everywhere she goes. Hijinks ensue as the mismatched power couple fumble through workplace antics, questionable hires, and the awkward internship of son Hunter’s “niece.” Cue laugh track!
Mission Mubblepossible
When top secret classified documents go missing from a crooked politicians garage, octogenarian action star and President Joe Biden is ready to answer the call, dodging rogue agents and decoding cryptic messages hidden in his infamous gaffes. With ‘Virus’ Hunter as his tech-savvy sidekick and ‘Dr.’ Jill piloting the getaway chopper, Biden races to save democracy—one mumble-filled monologue at a time. (Note: All of Biden’s action and acting scenes are to be performed by AI)
Jill’s Jackets & First Fashions
Just when you thought YouTube had reached peak brain rot, former First Lady Jill Biden joins the platform. This YouTube shorts channel features Jill’s hilarious attempts to justify her weird wardrobe choices to youtubers ranging from Mr. Beast to Candace Owens.
From her infamous mismatched blazers to questionable holiday sweaters, Jill serves up looks that scream “teacher’s lounge chic.” Spoiler: The comment section roasts her harder than a Thanksgiving turkey. Fashion disaster? Absolutely. Entertaining? You bet.
Crafting with Joe: The Malarkey Chronicles
In this kid-friendly Minecraft-style game, players step into the blocky shoes of Joe Biden, a quirky, overenthusiastic old builder with a knack for getting into silly situations. Joe’s mission? Restore unity to a fractured world by constructing bridges (literally and metaphorically) while avoiding “gaffe traps” that trigger his infamous non-sequiturs.
Players can unlock special power-ups, like Jill’s “Teacher’s Glare” to freeze enemies or Hunter’s “Artistic Vision” to paint confusing, over-priced murals that distract foes. Children can even play online with Joe Biden, who loves minors.
Ice Cream Diplomacy with Joe Biden
Join retired President Joe Biden on a deliciously quirky global journey in this mouthwatering and brain-freezing TLC documentary/reality show. From gelato in Italy to kulfi in India, Joe explores the world’s most delicious ice cream while sharing heartfelt stories he plagiarized from Reader’s Digest and cracking his signature (also stolen) dad jokes.
Whether he’s debating desegregating Neapolitan color mixing or accidentally dropping a scoop on a small child and licking it off, Joe’s old perv charm and love for ice cream make this a sweet, heartwarming adventure. While neither nut nor malarkey-free you will nonetheless taste the deep state flavor!
