GWU! was there to morbidly squeeze the last of the celebrity juice out of OJ as he lay dying of the Covid-19 experimental serum.
Now, millions of enquiring minds will find out directly from The Juice himself, what OJ Simpson knew about the night of June 12, 1994 …. and also September 11, 2001 and more.
In OJ Simpson’s own words GWU! Presents his final performance, in If I Did It .…
If I did it …. Stolen 2020 Election
Then the 2020 Election wouldn’t have been free and fair. It would have been rigged and Joe Biden wouldn’t be the rightful President. Which is ridiculous, right? A judge should have weighed in on live TV to prove all this beyond a reasonable doubt. I wonder what Judge Ito is up to these days? He never returns my calls!
If I did it …. September 11 Inside Job
Then 9/11 would have been an inside job! It would have been a pretty sloppy one too, planes hijacked by amateur pilots, passports falling out of the sky, inconsistent video footage and building Number 7 spontaneously falling perfectly into its own footprint, like it was an intentionally controlled demolition. Are you pulling my leg! Forget about that one!
If I did it …. The Fake Superbowl
The NFL wouldn’t be a 100% not rigged game and not have predetermined winners to benefit professional gamblers. And it’s not. I was in the NFL and you can trust me. Also the Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce relationship would be a blatant football/vaccine marketing scam. I swear, those two are in love. Love.
If I did it …. The Moon Landing Hoax
Then the moon landing wouldn’t be real, but some fake ass garbage that compartmentalized everyone involved so basically everyone, except for the astronaut actors, would think it was real (still ‘struggling actor’ Kato Kaelin said he auditioned, but who believes that jerk!). The lunar lander would be made of cardboard and tinfoil and all the original flight information would be ‘accidentally’ erased. I would have filmed it on a Hollywood sound stage. Worked when I went to Mars.
If I did it …. Men Becoming Women Hussle
I would invert the genders to confuse and weaken the minds of American children so they could be defeated by a foreign adversary more easily. You know, demoralization. Like my man Yuri Bezmenov talked about before the CIA popped him. Men would be women and women would be men while at the same time … gender not mattering. It would be nuts! Men would dominate women’s sports because they identify as something they’re not and get naked in the girls’ changing room (but not in a quirky lovable way like in the film Porky’s).
Now, I love me the ladies, but I’m talking about real ladies, not some dude dressed up reading to school children. The more you know, you know.
If I did it …. The Covid-19 Vaccine Scam
The Covid vaccines wouldn’t be 100% safe and effective and be free of any side effects. They would be dangerous experimental drug therapies that were not properly tested and then forced on people over threat of being fired and banned from society. Perfectly healthy young kids would be dying suddenly and celebrities would be too. Damn, I would be on my bed dying right now instead of being perfectly healthy. Are you kidding me, I’m the effing Juice! Like my friend Johnnie Cochran used to say, “if the drug doesn’t fit, you must acquit!”
“To err is human; to forgive, divine. I am not dying. I just signed for Naked Gun 4D!”
Orenthal James Simpson (July 9, 1947–April 10, 2024)
