A Government-Funded Temper Tantrum!
The Hangover Part III (they’ve already done three—ed), err, we mean IV was how April felt when Dylan Mulvaney, who GWU!, profiled last month, became the spokesperson for Bud Light. No, it wasn’t an April Fool’s Day joke; however the punch line was on the major beverage manufacturer when their stock plummeted. Beer isn’t the only place that men disguised as women are appearing, as we profiled in Trans Destroying Online Dating and how online dating apps are pleading ignorance. (It’s left single men and women saying: ‘What a drag!’—ed)
Speaking of apps, Elon Musk is clipping his newborn bird’s feathers by flagging Government-funded Media as… Government-funded Media. But not all, including the CBC, are happy with their new birdie bio and are boycotting the social media giant. According to legendary GWU! op-ed writer Toby P. Gelman, however, that’s a good thing (Talk about failure to launch—ed).
Staying in the Twittisphere, while most of the world is ready to move on to the next Current Thing: WWIII, men dressed as women, and/or pride uniforms at McDonalds, GWU! took a look back at some of the most vocal vaccine pushers on social media to see what the Long COVID effects of ‘fighting a pandemic’ can do to a person. It wasn’t pretty (We’re looking at you, Rob Reiner—ed) (He’s not hard to miss!—media monkey).
Don’t Curb Your Enthusiasm
Although Canada isn’t set to have an election until 2025 (Thanks, Jagmeet!—ed), down south Trump and company are preparing to kick off the 2024 campaign in porn court. But while the Republican party may be tanking along with their Blackrock-owned buddies at Fox News, one shining light in the rigged election world is Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who is uniting Dems and the GOP. Early results look good for the former apple of RFK senior’s eye, however, not all are onboard; including C-list B-movie Disney actor Mark Hamil who has literally gone to the dark side by way of supporting the theater of war in Ukraine.
On the topic of movies no one watches, famed French-Canadian director Gil Francois (not his real name) gave a sneak peek to GWU! of the reel deal with Justin Trudeau’s one-act play on the University of Manitoba campus. The director said: “You can see that it was rehearsed, Trudeau had his reactions and lines already memorized.”
Well as long as it’s not a Social Credit System, this isn’t China!
Left wing lunatic Doreen Trudeau tried her/they/film manhands at script writing in an effort to save Hollywood from the vile cesspool it’s become in How I Will Save Hollywood Part 1 and Part Deux (Nice one, Hot Shot—ed). Don’t miss Parts 3—18 over the next few months. Slave to the newsdesk, Rafe Klinger put together a Guide to the Dangers of Central Bank Digital Currency and the always in style Casey Riley submitted Rage Applying for reader approval where she found that companies that are going woke have the angriest workers. Hopefully, Casey isn’t raging out of GWU! (Come on Casey, we already let you work from home like everyone in the Canadian Public Service!—ed).
A Whale of a Good Time for PSAC Strikers!
Environmental activist and climate model Sophia Kianni attended Earth Day proceedings at the White House where she advocated for ‘THE CLIMATE’ one tireless selfie at a time. Sophia, however, turned down a personal one-on-one with President Joe Biden after an aide to the ice cream munching Snoozer-n-Chief said Sleepy Joe wanted to hold the meeting in his private shower with her and his son Hunter, while Bill Gates filmed. That’s what we call taking one, or two, for the planet, Sophia!
And if that wasn’t enough Woke to choke on, OttaWHAAA’S Kevin and Karen advise that Anti-Vaxxer Actors Need to Hit The DVD Bargain Bin in their newish GWU! advice column.
As the evil empire of Wokeness strikes back with TransDEIclimatescamery censorship, GWU! is bravely warping ahead, transmitting a new hope that May the force be with you for a less shitty multiverse. Keep watching the skies for the chemtrails of truth via getwokeup.com, your news source that wants to believe resistance is not futile in the culture war.
