Vaccinated Passed Over
The pandemic might be over (did it ever begin—ed), but for those looking to move up in the world it appears that complying with COVID mandates and doing it all to “save granny” are qualifications best left off one’s CV. GWU! spoke with one genetically modified human who confirmed more and more vaccinated employees are now being turned down for promotions.
Speaking of anti-mandate freedom fighters, Canadians tired of Trudeau are holding late-night rallies in Canadian Tire parking lots with the goal of throwing a wrench in the plans of the NWO. Talk about a Mastercraft in political protest!
In other news, Dictator Trudeau’s new crown with a literal snowflake is even making frozen-in-time King Charles melt with embarrassment. The environ-mental monarch’s lockdown goals come up against freedom lover Toby P. Gelman’s out-of-this world endorsement for neck tattooed, destroyer of 15-minute cities candidate for Toronto mayor, Chris Sky.
Transforming Women
May brought fresh flowers and gardening, but also dumped a whole ton of man-ure on women’s rights. From the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue opting for a trans-man “cover girl” to discount retailer Target taking aim by selling swimsuits with a penis tuck pocket to improve their woke credit score.
We also uncovered a mother who endured 60 minutes (which felt like six months—ed) of Drag Queen Story Hour. Learn how the ordeal scared her son straight!
In education news, er, we mean indoctrination, check out these Grade 6 students we spoke to who got schooled by members of their local trans activist community (five members, of course—ed) for their Mother’s Day tribute. What a clown show! In the Diversity Equity and Inclusion ring, we jabbed a DEI School Board bigwig who spent Mother’s Day surfing porn on Twitter, using his admin account (at least sign in to your burner account bro— ed)!!!. after falsely denying that he liked the tweets. As soon as GWU! rang the bell on his ding-a-ling he made his account private and enrolled in a night school course in Media Studies, we hope.
Cleopatra Got E-Gypped!
Keep Cleopatra’s name out of your effing mouth is what Egyptian officials are saying to Jada Pinket Smith after the Hollywoke director slapped together a race swap for Cleopatra in Smith’s poorly reviewed Netflix’s docudrama (Netflix, however, is in de-nile over the controversial Pinkett Smith’s choice—ed).
One Canadian man isn’t sure why it’s becoming more and more difficult to be a critical thinker using search engines like Google. We’ve got the answer in something disinformation experts call Prebunking. And with tech in mind, we learned that more teens are switching off technology. When you’re done with all that info be sure to download Doreen’s new rewrites of Hollywood woke scripts.
GWU! Won’t Want to Miss Us in June!!!
As the month-long ‘Halloween in June’, also known as Pride, creeps closer, GWU! is ready to dress up all the insane stories from the mentally ill white men who plan to parade in place of women. Because, really, what is a woman? To find out keep your eye shadowed on the website that isn’t afraid to pull the wig off of the Transgenda, getwokeup.com
