Trigger warning: The following information may create disturbing mental visuals not suitable for taxpayers
They say that in a ménage à trois one lover always gets their heart broken. It’s a story now all too familiar for Ottawa, Canada’s most infamous left-wing power throuple. A story that ends with Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland getting jilted by soy boy Trudeau and his dominant gal pal Mélanie Joly.
“Joly wants Trudeau’s job and she would do anything to get it,” reveals a Parliamentary Page speaking exclusively to GWU! “She saw Freeland as a threat, as well was worried that Trudeau may be strangely attracted to the onion-shaped former Finance Minister. It was a classic case of a jealous love triangle.” (I’d rather die in the Bermuda triangle than think any more about their love triangle—ed)
Our page kiss and tells to America’s Number One Newstainment Source, GWU! that the affair between the three got so steamy that jealousy, betrayal, and an old fashioned cat fight were all behind Freeland’s sudden and unexpected departure.
The unconventional relationship first became the subject of gossip to the sycophant Canadian media during the so-called pandemic after the three mingling ministers took a steamy and romantic trip to sex capital of the world, Amsterdam; however, the cucked media was submissively gagged into not reporting for fear of losing generous government grants, which had been keeping their fledgling publications in business.
Liberal OnlyFans
Freeland, who was to announce a nearly 62 billion dollar deficit on the day of her bombshell “Dear John” resignation letter, said in a statement that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had asked for her to step aside over the two differing economic policies. But our Page insists otherwise.
“Sure, she hated having to pose for risqué photos dressed as a tax free Christmas Tree (allegedly—ed) but she put up with it thinking her big present would come after Christmas when the Prime Minister would be resigning and appointing her as captain of his sinking ship. That all changed when Mélanie Joly got her claws into the weak beta son of Fidel Castro.”
Freeland’s notable accomplishments, aside from spending Canada into 3rd World status and destroying the economy during a health ‘pandemic’ of the sniffles, includes closing the bank accounts and seizing the financial assists of peaceful protesters during the Freedom Convoy.
The aging and plump Toronto MP was also a strong proponent of (check da facts—ed)… over the air television? And … told Canadians to survive the recession she created (She-session—ed) by cancelling their subscription to Disney +.
Jailbird on Crime Spree
The midget like minister, who first caught celebrity obsessed Trudeau’s eye for her an uncanny resemblance to Danny DeVito as Batman villain The Penguin, was a well-known media face of the despised Liberal government and could often be seen nodding like a bobblehead in Parliament, acknowledging imaginary people during press conferences, picking her ass in public, and twitching uncontrollably.
Related: Even GWU! Can’t Hold Down Twitchy Chrystia Freeland !!!
Bang on Speculation
Political insiders including former leader of the socialist NDP Thomas Mulcair are speculating Globalist Freeland may just be positioning herself for a leadership bid in an aim to depose Trudeau. A fact our Page disputes. “Is she Trudeau’s WEF handler? Yes. Did she in any way set this all up? No. Even the deep state is powerless in the event of a woman scorned as Joly had become. There is some truth though to the fact that Mark Carney was sniffing around for Trudeau’s affections and Freeland’s job.”
On social media, President Elect and Comedian-In-Chief Donald Trump cracked that Freeland’s behavior was “totally toxic and not at all conductive to making deals.” He added that she will not be missed as he repeated his insults of Trudeau being Canada’s governor of the 51st US State.
Vowing to run again as a member of parliament for her downtown Toronto riding, Freeland is now free to explore relationships with other tiny men. “She’s got a hook up planned with some troll in Ukraine that she’s been sending money to for ages,” chirps our Page. “She won’t listen to anyone who tries to tell her she’s being catfished and the relationship is a scam.” Talk about not getting bang for your buck!
The ears wide open Page says that behind the scenes Bimbo Trudeau is telling supporters that the bad breakup was Freeland’s fault and she must be “experiencing it differently,” as he is a feminist, who “has women’s backs”.
