Bookies in New Zealand are taking odds on what green new pasture the globalist thoroughbred horse-faced Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern will be grazing in.
After a not so surprising announcement that the unpopular AF WEF COVID junkie was stepping down, Kiwi speculation about the PM’s next job has shot out the barn door! Never ones to let a good barn fire go to waste GWU! has reined in the most likely new grift wagon that Ardern will be pulling waste for.
Now jockeying into position, the gates are open and GWU! is calling: ‘Off to the glue factory with Jacinda Ardern!!!’
Trifecta: THE UN/WEF MENACE: A NEW HOPE
We know what you’re thinking. The UN and the WEF are the same thing! And you’re right! What better job could there be for the politician so at home in the world’s two most corrupt geo/political organizations?
The only possible stumbling block would be how to get rid of Glorious Leader Klaus Schwab who has been preparing for his apprentice’s betrayal for years. The evil globalist ruler plans to cheat death—Emperor Palpatine style—by downloading his brain into a machine with bad woke writing. Steven Spielberg is attached to direct.
Quinella: AMERICAN TV: VAX-SCENE STAR
This is not an American television producer’s fever-vax-scene-dream. Or is it? Stephen Colbert has publicly called for Ardern to run for the American presidency in 2024. Late Show host Colbert made the endorsement despite the New Zealand leader being constitutionally unable to hold office—having not been born in America but rather deep, deep underground at the center of the HoloEarth. But if a TV host like Trump could become president then why can’t a Prime Minister become a TV host?
Here’s just a few TV shows that are already being developed for Ardern:
America’s Funniest Vaccines; Sh!t My Dictator Says; Survivor: Vaccine Island; LockedDown with Love; Young Ardern; Jabpardy!; Little Vegan Lamb Farmer on the Prairie; The Masked Singer; and Disinformation Island.
Exacta: GET HITCHED
Suuuuuuuuuuure! After being engaged to TV beard Clarke Gayford (real name) for the last five years, Ardern says they will now finally have time to get married. Finally, Ardern’s child will have the healthy two father childhood that all New Zealand families see as totally normal.
We know what you’re thinking: ‘but Ardern is a man, how’s he have a kid?’ That’s because men can get pregnant, you racist.
Across the board: JUSTIN CASTRO’S BEACHFRONT BACHELOR PAD POOL BOY
Jacinda is no stranger to saddling up next to Trudeau. In fact, JT even gave her a lift after Queen Elizabeth’s funeral on his carbon-free private jet. The dictator duo have so much in common. They both shut down their countries over a virus with a 99.998% survival rate, they trampled human rights, and called on neighbours to inform on neighbours (who shouldn’t be breaking their bubbled to talk to in the first place!)
What does the future hold for these dimwitted despot’s, once Trudope is out of office in two weeks? Well, speculate insiders, perhaps splitting a timeshare in Justin’s birthplace, Cuba.
Show: DRAG TIME STORY HOUR READER
With Arderns imposingly broad shoulders and prominent adam’s apple, the outgoing PM certainly already has the look of a modern day library reading buddy down. The only question is whether or not Ardern can read anything that isn’t on a teleprompter.
Place: SOCIAL MEDIA DISINFORMATION STAR
Ardern has never had any training or job experience outside of politics which makes her a perfect choice for this cushy government/media snowjob. In a new position created just for the ‘only trusted source of information’ of all media, Ardern will be working for the CIA, NSA, FBI and their bosses, the Chinese government. After Ardern’s on the job propaganda training during the so-called pandemic the former PM is sure to be a viral disinformation sensation.
WIN: GO DEEP INTO HIDING – NEVER TO BE HEARD FROM AGAIN
While some New Zealanders are hoping Adrern crawls into a hole like fellow despots Saddam Hussein and Muammar Gaddafi did when they had ‘nothing left in the tank,’ others are calling for a more poetically just end to the reign of the Nightmare Queen.
As part of a criminal relocation plan, Ardern would be shunned from society, mocked and demonized. Ardern would undergo quarterly government injections of experimental gene therapy (against her will) while being tracked and traced through an app on her phone. The former ruler would not be allowed into any home, shop, building or indoor bathroom as part of the two tier society she so enthusiastically railed for. Sounds like a nice jab for Jacinda to really chomp the bit into.
