Public trust of politicians in Canada is at an all-time low according to a recent Twitter survey. After years of gas lighting the public with constantly changing covid restrictions, the demonization of differing viewpoints and the extreme intolerance of anything non-woke has led many to despise politicians. But just why do so many Canadians hate their elected officials? Get Woke Up! with our breakdown.

5. Jyoti Gondek

Stats: 37th Mayor of Calgary

Nicknames: Skeletor

Platform: The ultra woke new mayor of Calgary has faced the collapse of a sports arena deal, anti-mandate protests and soaring property tax increases in her short 100 days tenure.

Claim to Fame: Last year, it was reported that in 2013, Gondek’s consultancy firm was hired by the Urban Development Institute, a special interest group for the development industry in Calgary, to influence public opinion in favour of urban sprawl.

If Re-elected: Promises to continue being even less hot and more evil as her rein of dark power continues.

4. Richard Strang 

Stats: Chief Medical Officer of Health Nova Scotia and defacto politician through his actions.

Nicknames: Dr. Potato

Platform: Another doctor as reality TV political theatre director, at the beginning of the pandemic Strang said the quiet part out loud regarding lockdowns:

Claim to Fame: “I think the other purpose of the injunction is to uh, is to uh, you know, to prevent uh, you know, groups that are spreading, deliberately spreading false information that can actually create risk… the information itself, if listened to, creates risk to the public as well. So that’s, that’s certainly is a need to manage that misinformation campaign as well.” Infamous for looking like a potato and having the brain of one, Strang may soon find himself voted off the island.

If Re-elected: He will eat all of neighbouring province PEI’s potatoes. 

3. Jagmeet Singh 

Stats: Leader of Federal NDP

Nicknames: Trudeau’s Bitch

Platform: Free dental care for those over 85 years old

Claim to Fame: Jagmeet duped the NDP faithful after forming an alliance with Liberal leader Justin Trudeau, confirming the long-held belief, if you get into bed with a tool, expect to get screwed. 

If Re-elected: Jagmeet has all but destroyed the NDP party from within and by the next election even his over hyped tik tok profile won’t be able to earn him any more Rolexes.

2. Doug Ford

Stats: Premier of Ontario

Nicknames: Big Baby 

Platform: Everybody hates this guy. ‘He locked down too hard!’ ‘He didn’t lock down hard enough!’ The Left say he’s too Right wing. The Right say he became a Liberal and sold out ‘Ford Nation.’ The center will never swing his way because … he’s fat. And he reminds them too much of themselves. Dougie is in a tough spot come the June election in his province. Maybe he should just put this on his election signs: Remember my big brother Rob?

Claim to Fame: ‘Buck a Beer’, ‘My Friends,’ ‘Folks’ and other insincere folksy sayings straight from the marketing departments mouth.

If Re-elected: Totally promises his anti-vax daughter he’ll never lockdown the province again and totally go on a diet*.
(*Cheese Cake Diet)

1. Justin Trudeau 

Stats: Prime Minister of Canada

Nicknames: Dictator Trudeau, Blackface Hitler

Platform: Crash the economy, turn into China

Claim to Fame: This former drama teacher turned legacy politician, became the laughing stock of the world when he went into hiding during the Truckers Freedom Rally. Also, known for using words like racist, misogynist and fringe minority for anyone who disagrees with him. 

If Re-elected: Vows to continue to further turn Canada into a dictatorship, much like his Cuban father did to his country.

Check out numbers 6 to 10.