2024 Election

The Get Woke Up! January 2023 Newsletter – Let’s Get Reflexxive!

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Let’s Get Reflexxive!

Feeling like a ‘Natural Woman’… as a man!

It may be a cold dark Winter of Death: Part II in the political narrative, but over at the Get Woke Up! offices the excitement was trans-formative. Check out our story (banned on Reddit) of a man joining a women’s gym! In related news, don’t miss our exposé on a new European trans movement who baited the MSM with a fake threat to cancel the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin’! Needless to say, Piers Morgan ate it up.

We kicked off the month with our game changing coverage of NFLer Damar Hamlin’s mysterious illness. You remember him, the Buffalo Bills cornerback who collapsed on the field and was presumed dead from the COVID-19 vaccine. Our investigative reporters didn’t stop needling there. We vaccinated the truth with stories about: Canadian reporter Jessica Robb’s on-air medical emergency, athletes who refuse to play corporate trans virtue signalling, and Diagolon leader Jeremy MacKenzie who was de-banked by corporate fat cats.

The Current Thingamajig

To be gender inclusive the word also identifies with an alternate spelling (Reflexyive) with the second X replaced with a Y.

With so many healthy young people dropping dead, literally, the GWU! staff turned the page on vax lexicon with our exclusive interview featuring an English professor who is trying to make sense of this definition of craziness. We also unearthed a group of nouveau-hippie New Yorkers who are planning to recycle their remains to stop “Climate Change.” I mean, Greta Grip folxs!!! Speaking of insanity, the CDC is attempting to redefine our dictionary and that’s made Dr. Robert Malone madder than hell and he’s not going to take it anymore!

Straight from the Horse’s Mouth

Bookies in New Zealand are taking odds on what green new pasture the globalist thoroughbred horse-faced Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern will be grazing in. And GWU! is taking bets on the glue factory!

Meanwhile… Media Monkey, fresh from his/her/theys new rendering iced the month with a series of absolutely bananas lists including: What’s Next for Jacinda Ardern and 6 of the Dumbest Things Ever Said by AOC. (Yeah, we know, only six! What a monkey!) Our Moscow correspondent, S. Bicko, delivered two bangers: 7 Ways Progressives Are Trying To Save The Planet and Top 10 Cringiest COVID-19 Vax-Scenes. (The videos posted to our partner site, the Woke Madness YouTube channel are as hilarious as they are depressing.)

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Left wing loon Doreen Trudeau was at it again this month with Where’s My Pandemic Amnesty, You Anti-Vax Plebs? and Changing the Weather Will Rein In Climate Change Denialism!! As well, GWU! podcast producer Toby P. Gelman chimed in with his defense of Dr. Jordan B. Peterson, who is being silenced by the the Ontario College of Psychologists. Earlier in the month, Toby enlisted the best supporting help of Morgan Freeman in Toby’s epic, and Oscar worthy screenplay, op-ed: Rita Hayworth and Toby Gelman’s Unvaccinated Redemption.

Be sure to tune into friend of GWU!, Clyde Do Something on the daily, who regularly shares our bestest, bonkersest stories with his 100,000 plus listeners.

February, which also identifies as Black History Month, is already looking dark and gloomy with the recent release of the pro-anti-Black Black members of the Memphis police force controversy, Joe Biden’s continued mental decline, and the Pfizer admission of gain-of-function research using monkeys. So keep your eyes peeled and your opposable thumbs up on the website that’s not afraid to fling a bit of feces, getwokeup.com.

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