In the quiet town of Maplewood, Vermont, the Johnson family sat around their dinner table last Friday, discussing the upcoming weekend release of Disney’s live-action Snow White. For the Johnsons, the early reviews pointed positively to the film’s modern twists.
“I think it’s amazing that Snow White is being reimagined as a strong, independent woman,” Sarah Johnson, a mother of two and a self-proclaimed progressive told America’s Number One Source of Newstainment, GWU! “The original story is so outdated. Why shouldn’t our girls see a princess who dreams of being a leader instead of waiting for a prince to save her?”
Her husband, Mark, nodded in agreement. “And the diverse casting? It’s about time Disney reflected the real world. Rachel Zegler is a talented actress, and thanks for DEI we finally get to see an ethnic person playing Snow White. It sends a powerful message to our kids about inclusivity.” Their 11-year-old trans daughter, Emma, chimed in, “I can’t wait to see the new dwarfs! They sound so cool—magical creatures who don’t conform with normal shapes and sizes? That’s way better than the old cartoon.”
Meanwhile, over 1,000 miles away in Dallas, Texas, the Carter family had a very different perspective. “We’re not going to see that movie,” John Carter, a father of three and Trump supporter told GWU! “Disney’s turned Snow White into some kind of woke propaganda. It’s not even the same story anymore.” His wife, Linda, added, “They’ve taken a classic fairy tale and twisted it to fit their disgusting agenda. Why can’t Disney just leave well enough alone?”
Their teenage son, Michael, rolled his eyes. “Who cares about this culture war BS when the Palestinians are being genocided as we pop our popcorn.” The Carters had decided to boycott the film, opting instead to watch an alternative and often overlooked film classic. “Our film night is going to celebrate the best of American cinema, not this progressive pop culture vomit.”
The debate over Snow White wasn’t just playing out in living rooms across America—it was also a topic of discussion among cultural critics as the film floundered in its opening weekend release with a paltry $43 million dollar opening.
Is that a Latina Dwarf in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to Replace Me?
GWU! Gossip columnist to the stars, Clammy J. Byner reflects that in the original 1937 film, the Seven Dwarfs are short, male characters with distinct personalities like Grumpy and Happy. In the remake, they’ve been replaced with a diverse group of “magical creatures” of varying heights, genders, and races. Byner argues this change prioritizes inclusivity over the original story’s charm. “It feels like they’re erasing the dwarfs to make a statement,” said Byner. “Why can’t they just tell the story as it was written? In 19th century German.”
Rachel Zegler, who plays Snow White, has publicly criticized the original film’s romance, calling the prince’s behavior “weird” and “stalker-like.” The remake shifts the focus from true love to Snow White’s ambition to become a “fearless leader.” “It’s great to see a princess who doesn’t need a man to save her,” said Byner. But he continues that the change undermines the fairy tale’s essence. “The love story is what made Snow White magical. Now it’s just another girlboss narrative.”
Zegler, a Latina actress, was cast as Snow White, a character traditionally described as having “skin as white as snow.” While many praised the decision for promoting diversity, others saw it as inconsistent with the source material. “It’s not about race,” Byner insists. “It’s about respecting the integrity of the story. If they want to tell a new story, they should create a new character. Or just make another rehashed sequel to Star Wars.”
The remake emphasizes themes of female empowerment, resilience, and independence, which some viewers feel are being prioritized over the original story’s simplicity. “It’s like they’re using Snow White as a vehicle for their agenda,” Byner said. “Why can’t they just let kids enjoy a classic fairy tale?”
Back in Texas, the Carters remained steadfast in their decision as they decided that family film night would be politics free. “Disney’s lost its way,” John said. “They’re so focused on being morally superior that they’ve forgotten what made these stories special in the first place,” as he started up an illegal streaming site for a viewing of the Mel Brooks classic, Robin Hood Men In Tights.
