In bold, stunning and brave defiance of DeSantis’ extremely dangerous and problematic “No Patient Left Alone” Act, I have opted to let my GranGran die alone to keep her and other folx safe!!

The other morning, my brother Kyle Zoomed me from the hospital. He was sitting beside my ailing Grandma, who has barely a couple days left to live (some sort of heart problem, I think). I waved at her, crinkling my eyes above my face-mask to convey I was pleased to see her. She looked so happy and elated, as she excitedly told me that I could come and visit her now that Florida Gov. DeSatan had passed a law allowing under-represented family unit members to come and see their dying birthing people and grand-birthing people. I sadly shook my head performatively and watched her little wrinkled crestfallen face sag and sink as I crushed any delusional hopes she had of me coming to visit her.

“This is just what the Republicunts want, GranGran.” I slowly explained to her why she would have to die without me by her side, wobbling my head and blinking rapidly as I dumbed down my lecture so even she could understand. I was halfway through unpacking the myriad of complex reasons behind my courageous decision to let her die alone and her true unconscious meaning behind those loaded, frankly manipulative tears to her—starting with her white privilege and making my way towards gently chiding her for being from the Silent Generation (silence is violence, GranGran)—when my brother Kyle ended the call and sent me a text: “You’re a heartless bastard, Darren”.

Well, there’s no need for dead-naming me like that!

The pandemic isn’t over and if we allow insane far-right tyrants like DeSatan and Kyle to carry on brazenly killing people with their authoritarian freedumb our beloved democracy will fall. He’s just doing this to “Own the Libs”. But really he’s spitting in the faces of all of us who sacrificed so much these past two years. (Doesn’t he know COVID-19 spreads through droplets?)

Well, I won’t let him contaminate our flawed but great country. Besides, my schedule for the week is absolutely jam-packed with dog walks (Ugh, I simply wasn’t built for a four hour work week!!) so even if I DID want to go and visit my dying Grandma I wouldn’t be able to!!

If you really think about it, I’m the true victim in all this.