With a Toronto mayoral election only months away, rising Canadian comedy star Ben Bankas is hoping to hop off the stage and into city hall as it’s main headliner.
“Politics has become a joke and I’m great at telling jokes, so I would be good at running the city. Right now it’s a clown show, so making it a comedy show is a step in the right direction,” says the controversial funnyman with almost 70,000 Instagram followers.
Monkey Business
The election, which will take place on Monday, June 26, was announced when two-timing three-term mayor John Tory resigned after admitting to having an affair with a city employee, while his loyal wife Barb was hiding from Covid in Florida. Tory, who was a staunch Conservative upon entering city politics, veered a sharp left in his final years, often seen kneeling and apologizing to indigenous leaders, BLM vandals, virtue signaling to Ukrainian war lords, and making insane claims like trans women are women.
Bankas is hoping to change all that!
“We are running on an anti-woke platform. We want to make this city fun again,” adds the podcast host and viral video auteur.
As part of his platform, Bankas is already tackling some more controversial issues like the instance of two Toronto Raptors players stating the biological fact that only women can get pregnant. Bankas was quick to respond with his now viral campaign video, which Alex Jones of Info Wars hailed as a modern day masterpiece.
“The Toronto I grew up in was safer, more enjoyable and people just seemed happier. Now everyone is depressed with a mask or worried about getting offended. It’s embarrassing. It’s time Toronto got its character back,” insists the Queen’s University grad.
Trans(fer) of Power
Bankas rose to prominence in the anti-mandate movement when he was fined thousands of dollars during the COVID-19 lockdown for hosting Freedom of Comedy Protest nights in downtown Toronto parks. Unfortunately for Bankas, the events, which occurred weekly, were often met with protests from Woke activists and bylaw officers who didn’t realize what a joke Toronto’s insane lockdown rules were! Talk about a tough crowd!
“Toronto is the home of Drake, the Raptors, Russell Peters grew up here and so many more talented and successful people. Let’s start celebrating success again and becoming a great city,” adds the comic who is getting set to hit the road for his national tour.
Exclusively for our readers, GWU! has obtained a copy of some of the changes that Bankas hopes to make to the big smoke when he gets elected in June:
- Make Toronto more dog friendly, repeal bylaws that prohibit dogs in restaurants and shops.
- Bring back smoking on patios and in bars after midnight.
- Focus on ways to improve people’s mental health and enjoyment.
- Allow bars and restaurants to operate until 4 a.m.
- Change all street names of white people to indigenous names.
- Make City Hall into Toronto’s largest refugee and homeless camp.
Weeding out the Losers
“I will win because I’ll be the hottest mayor we’ve had since Rob Ford. Except I won’t smoke crack, but I will smoke weed. And I will have sex in my office, just not with staffers,” says the leader of BankasNation.
The race for Toronto’s top job is already heating up with a who’s who vowing to enter the race. Some of those include former Woke city councillor Josh Matlow, anti-COVID mandate activist Chris Sky, former top cop Mark Saunders, and Rob Ford wingman at all-you can eat wing night Giorgio Mammoliti. And, of course, Get Woke Up! podcast producer and op-ed columnist Toby P. Gelman who will be running for deputy mayor (that’s a thing, right?-ed).
To learn more about Ben Bankas, please visit benbankas.com.
