Last night I begrudgingly joined my boomer gammon parxnts and chud brother Kyle for our weekly familx film night. Little did I know that Kyle was using the occasion to try and brainwash us with ‘Died Suddenly,’ a far-right propaganda piece making the rounds on the white supremacist video streaming site Rumble.
Despite protesting with all the intensity and valor of a Chinese iPhone warehouse worker at this blatant attempt at trickery to radicalize my poor, smooth-brained prole parxnts my attempts at reason were muzzled. I was shut down by my birthing persxn, who insisted that it was only fair to let Kyle choose the movie since I had picked the last three films; (‘Cuties’, ‘Licorice Pizza’, and a bootlegged copy of Olivia Wilde’s hopeful look at the future ‘Don’t Worry Darling’).
I strongly disagreed and still do but since I live in their basement (where there is no concept of Democracy) and don’t pay rent (Socialism is banned by my Sperm enabler) I was coerced into sitting through an hour long anti-vax farce directed by AM radio DJ Stew Peters. The shlock stewed up by this shockjock makes those old black and white Nazi war films look like apolitical 90s popcorn trash.
Ludovico Technique
Unable to move, I sat there like Malcolm McDowell in ‘A Clockwork Orange,’ restrained in my seat (gout in my legs acting up) with my eyes clamped wide open so I wouldn’t miss a single frame of the film. It was literally that bad, gang.
But as the film unfurled before me, a strange sensation overtook my body. Something foreign, new. I began to laugh. What started out as a light chuckle slowly evolved into a deranged cackle, before erupting into a cacophonous guffaw that threatened to blow both the fit tested N95s off my face! My horror-struck brother and parxnts were quietly perturbed by my sudden seeming descent into full blown madness. They had clearly failed to pick up on the subtle but masterful satire and clever commentary laced throughout the film.
If one was to follow the science, they would think ‘Died Suddenly’ to be a run of the mill anti-vax disinfomentary, complete with scary music and visuals of vaxxed folx falling down (due to climate change, in fact). It is however, actually an extremely nuanced and intelligent mockumentary in the vein of ‘This Is Spinal Tap’ that pokes fun at and lampoons the exact type of dim witted sycophants that have been singing its praises. I was honestly expecting Rob Reiner’s name to flash up on screen as the director when the end credits rolled. You know, the big boned guy, always yelling at Trump on the right wing social media site Twitter?
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
This movie goes up to 9/11
The basic plot of the film is that there’s a globalist conspiracy to depopulate the planet through vaccination. Your typical Jamxs Bond fare shat out of the empty minds of aging Cis white male writers. Our plucky protagonists are a ragtag collection of funeral directors, embalmers and Flat Mooners who assert without evidence or sources that folx are dying suddenly en masse.
They claim that this is all due to the safe and effective Covid vaccines, which are safe and effective – meaning they are effectively safe. Behind the evil plot is a bald German sounding super villain calling for a New World Order. Clearly no investigators of CIA skill in this film. But then, when has the CIA ever been involved in the media? Right?
Casting Conspiracy Theorists
I found it hard to empathize or connect with any of the cast. But they are merely there as cardboard cut-out caricatures of conspiracy theorist tin-foil hatters. Admittedly, they work well enough for the purpose of satirizing these rogue elements and fringe weirdos.
Another thing I’d have to criticize is the short length of the film. As I am accustomed to modern films being bloated, padded and stretched to epic lengths to the point of overall quality of the film suffers putting its audience into a coma, I found the one hour and eight minutes less than sufficient and extremely jarring for my big, propaganda-impervious, wrinkle-brain. #ReleaseTheUnclottedCut.
Though the film does an infectious job of spreading dread and even doubt into whether the actions of our altruistic, benevolent and infallible WEF overlords are as charitable and well-intentioned as they say they are, Director Stew Peters masterfully inserted misleading and out-of-context clips into various montages throughout the film.
When you really think about it (with the help of Reuters Fact Checkers), the so-called ‘Died Suddenly’ conspiracy theory the film attempts to inject, is ineffective at best and may do more harm than good. As we all know, noticing minor plot holes and inconsistencies renders the rest of the movie and its central themes and messages null and void.
It’s the fine details and subtle touches that make ‘Died Suddenly’ a satirical masterpiece for the woke age of cinema. It sits happily alongside other gems like ‘She-Hulk: Attorney At Law’ and ‘Rings of Power’ for its ability to mock and belittle its core audience, an amazing marketing tool and filmmaking strategy that will have no negative repercussions in the not-too-distant future, I’m sure. For all of its disinformation success and well choreographed pratfalls I give “Died Suddenly” 4 Jabs Out of 10.
My only worry is the film may cause a rise in vaccine hesitancy, a disease far more dangerous and problematic than even Covid-19 itself. Here’s hoping the joke doesn’t fly too far over the heads and MAGA hats of the tiny yet extremely dangerous fringe-minority of right-wing extremists who watch it.
